


Spring Day

by quackeroos



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter is a Little Shit, Possible Character Death, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Reader-Insert, stark reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23984335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quackeroos/pseuds/quackeroos
Summary: ❝ 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙨𝙣'𝙩𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢, 𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙧. ❞love is beautiful, but very painful. y/n stark learned this the hard way. now that peter and mj are together, y/n's hanahaki is eating up the remaining time she has on earth. and as long as peter doesn't know, she was willing to accept her fate.𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘉𝘛𝘚' 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦✧･ *✧･ﾟ:*𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘳 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘵. @𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘴𝑷𝑬𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑲𝑬𝑹 𝑿𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑨𝑯𝑨𝑲𝑰!𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑲!𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Reader, Peter Parker & Reader, Peter Parker/Reader, Spider-Man/Reader, Tom Holland (Actor) & Reader, Tom Holland (Actor)/Peter Parker/Reader, Tom Holland (Actor)/Reader, Tom Holland (Actor)/You, spider - Relationship
Comments: 25
Kudos: 123





	1. 𝗼𝐧𝐞

She saw it coming, but she ignored all the signs and kept going.

Y/n Stark is an intelligent person. Some people might call her crazy, some call her a genius, and sometimes a bit of both, just like her father. Yet when it comes to love, **Y/n Stark is an absolute idiot**. She wasn’t inexperienced in the Love Department. She had her fair share of relationships in the past, a lot of them, yet none of them had cured the pain in her chest. Because her heart only yearned for one boy. Y/n didn’t know when she had started loving Peter, but all she could remember was the feeling of something warm in her chest and the want of just being by his side forever.

But that crumbled until this very moment. 

Y/n watched from afar. MJ and Peter, happily united, talking and finally…kissing. As she watch the scene unfold before her, the feeling of her chest tightening, and the lack of oxygen came back. She could feel it slowly, the roots spreading across her chest, stems growing bit by bit, and the flowers starting to bloom. It wasn’t until later that she felt herself choking and the need for oxygen. First, she coughed up one petal, then two, until it became a pile scattered on the concrete floor. She immediately went behind a bus to hide from her two friends and continued her coughing fit. Her mouth sputtered more yellow petals and blood. They couldn’t see her like that. She doesn’t them to see her like that.

Yellow Carnation - the meaning of rejection in the flower language. Y/n laughed at the thought of how such a beautiful flower could symbolize something so painful.

Rejection. Y/n Stark had experienced it two times in her life. The first, being the rejection of her mother, hence why she now lives with her father. And the second, was Peter’s. She hadn’t confessed to Peter, but she knew even before, he already had his heart set on someone. And that someone wasn’t her.

“Miss Stark, would you like me to take you to the nearest hospital? I am seeing some restrictions in your trachea, which is making you hard to breathe.” Edward, her A.I., spoke through the earpiece she wore.

“I’m fine Edward. Just- Just get me out of here.” she managed to speak out in labeled breaths.

“But your wounds, Miss. You need to tend to them, it would le-”

“Just get me out of here Edward!” Her head was immediately wrapped in her nanotech helmet and she flies across the sky as fast as she could. She didn’t know where to go, her mind was completely elsewhere. But when she saw a nearby building, she didn’t hesitate to land and release herself from her suit. She knelt on the ground, shaking. Her body felt so fragile she could feel herself breakdown from the physical injuries she had taken, and the emotional ones taking over her body.

The bracelet buzzed on her wrist, indicating an incoming call. She opened the holographic screen, and Happy’s contact picture appeared. She pressed the green button.

“Kid!” his panicked voice rang in her ears. “Are you alright? Where are you? Your suit is sending me an alert!”

She sniffled and sobbed out, “Happy. Ha-Happy it hurts. Please pick me up.”

“It’s okay kid. I got you. I’m coming for you so stay there. Okay? Just hang on!”

The call ended and she curled up in a ball. The comfort of the wind blowing past her made her feel a bit better. She closed her eyes in hopes of getting rid of the pain. Although her body received a lot of physical damage, the pain couldn’t be compared to the pain she felt inside.

***

His hand held her shoulder while hers were place on his neck. The kiss was soft, and blissful. Peter could’ve sworn he was dreaming had MJ not been holding on his neck as a gentle reminder that it was indeed real. He couldn’t believe it. He got the girl..

They broke away from each other, both teens with a smile and awkward stances as they stood.

“I-uhm. I should probably head back to the class.” she cleared her throat and started walking backward slowly.

“I-I should too. Go check… Uhm- some stuff.” he replied with a hearty grin.

“I’ll see you later then.”

“Y-yeah. I’ll see you.”

A grin was etched on his face as he looked back to take one last look at MJ. Peter had a skip in his step while walking back to the other side of the bridge. He couldn’t be happier. Out of everything that has happened in this trip, this was the best. He played with the torn mask in his hand, _Definitely gonna have to repair this once I get home_ , he thought.

He stops in his tracks when he felt something on his shoe. It felt icky and bit slippery when he glided it against the concrete. He looked down to see what he stepped on. 

**_A pile of yellow petals covered in blood._ **

He cringed at the sight and started wiping his soles on the concrete floor. “Ugh. Gross.” he mumbled under his breath. “Now that’s a sight you don’t see every day.” he jokes to try and forget the picture. What was a pile of yellow petals even doing there anyway? Peter shrugged it off.

By the time he got to the other end, a sudden wave of realization hit him, and panic coursed through his veins. “Shit. Y/n!” he fumbles with his mask and immediately puts it on. “Karen! Call Y/n!” He runs through the streets and starts swinging around the strike zones. Her contact photo displayed on his screen. The call rang once, twice, until it went straight to voicemail. He called her cell again, no answer. He proceeded the call, but this time he contacted Happy. Thankfully, he answered.

“Hello, Peter?”

“Happy! Thank god you answered. Have you seen Y/n? I can’t find her anywhere in the strike zones. Was she with you at the vault?”

“She’s with me, Pete. Don’t worry.”

He felt relief wash over him. “Okay, okay. I’ll meet you there. Where are you guys right now?”

“Uh we’re stitching her up. But don’t worry, you’ll see her tomorrow with the class. Y/n- she needs to rest for a bit.”

“What?” His brows furrowed. “’Stitch her up’? Is she hurt? I’m coming there as soon as I can.”

“No! Uh- She’s fine, she’s fine. Just go and meet up with your class. I’ll make sure your teacher knows that Y/n’s gonna be with us for a while.”

“Are you sure? Happy, I can get there in-” and the line went dead. He looked at his phone again in confusion. Happy never drops a call, unless it was pure bullshit. Something tells Peter that Y/n might not actually be alright. Last time she saw her, she was taking on a bunch of drones, yelling at him to take on Beck, and he quote, “Get the damn fucking glasses and kick his fucking ass for me and Dad!”

Peter senses were on about something, but he couldn’t pinpoint what. Maybe it was his nerves acting up, not knowing if his best friend was fine or not. “Karen, can you track Y/n’s bracelet for me?”

“Her systems are offline, Peter.”

“What?” he blinked, “But that’s impossible. Y/n always has her suit online.”

“It could be possible that her suit is damaged. She had taken a lot of hits earlier.”

Peter became silent. Things were started to get weird. Was Y/n really alright? She would’ve told him through the comms if she wasn’t. Edward would’ve sent him an alert by now if she had gotten hurt. He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. He’s gonna have to wait until tomorrow and ask her on the flight back to New York.

***

“Hey, has anyone seen Y/n? She wasn’t with us on the plane.” Betty asked.

It was a question that plagued Peter’s mind all throughout the flight. Tomorrow had already came and he still hadn’t seen Y/n. She wasn’t at the hotel before they left, she wasn’t on the bus to the airport, and She wasn’t on the plane with the class. MJ noticed his distress the moment they sat together on the plane. So she offered him to get some sleep. It was awkward at first, but he soon became comfortable sleeping on her shoulder. All thoughts of Y/n’s sudden disappearance were forgotten, until now.

“I heard from Mr. Harrington that she was taking her own flight back to New York using the Avengers’ jet with her bodyguard.” Flash appeared behind the group, scrolling through his feed and would look up from time to time. “Something about security and family matters, I think. I wouldn’t blame her though. If my family could afford a jet, I would’ve gone ahead all of you guys.”

Everyone rolled their eyes, “Yeah. Sure, Flash.”

Peter and MJ fell into step easily, their hands entwined, and shoulders brushing from time to time. He held onto her hand tightly seeking comfort from the anxious thoughts that still ran on his mind, and thankfully, the normalcy MJ had provided just that.

“Do you think something happened to her?” he asked out of the blue but kept walking.

“Maybe. But I think she’s alright. I mean, it’s Y/n. She can handle almost anything, right?”

He smiled. She was right. If something had happened to Y/n, she would be fine in no time. But deep down, Peter knows there were some things that weren’t in her control. He could only hope Happy was with her, safe and sound. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”

“And I always am. Look, there she is right now.”

Peter’s eyes followed the end of her finger, and she was right, yet again. Y/n was standing idly at the side. Her red turtleneck and jeans covered her body, showing no ounce of skin. He can tell that she was trying to keep a low profile to not attract any unwanted attention. Her cap, earphones, and the glasses she wore (which was her father’s, until she snatched it and claimed it hers) told him so.

He didn’t hesitate to walk towards her, pulling MJ along the way. Somehow Y/n still hadn’t noticed the set of eyes on her and their presence coming. She was usually wary of her surroundings and could sense people easily. Peter thought of two possible reasons: either she was really digging the music she was listening to and was drowning the people around her, or she’s ignoring their presence.

It wasn’t until their shoes were below her phone that she took notice of the two. She looked up, took out her headphones and flashed them a forced smile. “Hey guys!” she greeted. He immediately knew something was wrong. She was trying to sound cheery and there was something off about her voice, like she was choking or something. Her eyes flicked from their entwined hands to his eyes, he could feel heat warm up his cheeks. He had hoped she wouldn’t notice; Y/n wouldn’t stop teasing him even before.

“So, you finally got the girl, eh?” She said smugly, wiggling her eyebrows in the process. “Congrats you guys! I’ll be expecting an invitation in future. Just give me a call and I’ll take care of the bills.” Y/n laughed at her own joke, but Peter wasn’t. He was staring her down, and his jaw became tight.

“Where were you? I went looking for you everywhere! You weren’t on the bridge, you weren’t on the other strike zones, and you weren’t in any of the nearby buildings. I tracked your phone, you were offline. I called Happy, and he said I’m just gonna meet you on the flight back to New York. But you weren’t with us. I didn’t see you for almost 24 hours!”

Y/n stifled a laugh. “Geez. Sorry Grumpy, didn’t knew I had such an effect on you. Don’t worry, I was with Happy this whole time. Pepper wanted me to take the private jet with Happy ‘coz she wasn’t keen on letting me take the flight with you guys after the whole fiasco.”

“But none of that explains why I couldn’t find you after the fight.”

“I went to Fury and Maria, needed me in headquarters. I also asked them to put me in med-bay ‘coz to fix me up. They turned off my suit in case Beck’s accomplices tried to track me, as well as my phone. Look, I‘m back in one piece.” She turned around to show him. “Honestly Peter, you’re making it a big deal for nothing.”

Peter curled his first, starting get annoyed. How can she be so nonchalant about this? The last time he saw her, she was fighting a whole armada of lethal drones. Then he calls Happy and finds out she had taken a lot of hits and was actually at the med-bay? And she thinks she’s hiding it well, but he could see her leaning on her other foot instead of her dominant one, which was injured. He knew she was lying, and on top of that, she was hiding something.

She probably forgot, but Peter can read her like an open book.

“How can I not make a big deal out of this, Y/n? You were taking on lethal drones! I couldn’t contact you for hours! Sorry if I’m “making a big deal for nothing” because my best friend’s been MIA for the past 18 hours and I didn’t know if you were fine or not ‘coz Happy didn’t want to tell me where you were!”

“Peter.”

MJ’s voice rang in his ears. It was like silence in a crowd of people. She placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, and thankfully, it helped him through. He heaved as he looked down on the floor. Not noticing Y/n’s stare lingering on the hand on his shoulder. She puts her hand on her mouth to cough, and it wasn’t an alright cough for Peter. I almost sounded like she was going to throw up.

“Are you done?” she said, unfazed by his outburst.

“Yeah. Yeah I am. Sorry.”

“Look,” she sighed, pocketing her phone. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone about my whereabouts firsthand, especially you. I wouldn’t be so calm about it if I didn’t know I wouldn’t be fine afterwards. So you don’t have to worry about anything Pete, I’m not going anywhere. It’s not like I’m dying or anything. It’s not like the end of the world, we just surpassed that.”

They laugh at her own joke. It slowly died after in a moment of silence. “So, are we good?”

He grinned. “Yeah, we’re good.” He leans towards her to pull her in for a hug, but she backs away and coughed again, holding her ribs in the process. Peter looked at her confused.

“Sorry. Forgot to tell you I kinda broke a few ribs back in London, so no bear hugs for six weeks.”

Peter scoffed, “Since when did that stop me?” He lets go of MJ’s hand and wrapped his arms around her shoulder, making sure to be gentle in case she had other injuries. His face settled on her neck and his lips were just by her ear. Y/n could feel the hairs on her arms stand up from the feel of his hot breath. She tried to keep her heart calm, hoping that he wouldn’t hear its pace from the simple action.

“I was really worried for you, y’know?” He said in a hushed tone. Now that surely would make her heart go crazy. “You’re my best friend, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Her heart immediately drops after hearing that. At least she wouldn’t have to trouble herself keeping her heart place at a normal rate.

Y/n chuckled and whispered back, “I’m sure you’ll live.”

She didn’t return the hug like she usually would. Instead, she patted his back and pulled away. It hurt Peter, but he brushed it off. It probably was best if she didn’t because of the broken ribs. What he doesn’t know was that Y/n didn’t want to upset MJ who was just standing back, watching them reunite. If Peter was dating MJ, she should probably step back from being too touchy with him. It wouldn’t look good, despite knowing MJ wouldn’t really care about those kinds of things.

“Uhm-okay, I better go.” She coughed. “I gotta get out of here before the reporters find me.” Another cough again, and this time it wasn’t any better than the last few. She reached for her handkerchief in her pocket and covered her mouth, wiping her mouth after and crumpling the cloth in her hand. “Sorry, that was gross. I promise you guys, I’m not contagious with anything, just got the flu.”

MJ walked towards her, concern in her eyes. “That didn’t sound good. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Y/n had a teasing smile on her face. “And here I thought you were just gonna hang there forever.”

“You guys were in the heat of the moment. And besides, Peter here needed some clarification. He was losing his mind during the whole of the flight.” The tanned girl then narrowed her eyes, “And don’t try and change the subject. I know what you were trying there, Stark.”

She shrugged, “Eh, it was worth a try. And to answer your question, for the hundredth time this day, I am.” Her mouth gave another hack and she directed it away from them. As she stood upright both Peter’s and MJ’s eyes widen at the sight. Soon, Y/n started mirroring their expression, and she was hoping they hadn’t caught on what was happening to her.

“What? What is it?” She questioned cautiously.

“Y/n, you’re bleeding.” MJ pointed at the corner of her mouth. She immediately wiped it away with her handkerchief. “Ah shit, I bit my tongue.” Y/n laughed off, waving like it was nothing.

“Y/n you’re coughing up blood.” Peter took a step forward to examine her face, but she was quick on her toes to take one step back and push away his hand. She coughed again on the piece of cloth

“I’m not.” She wheezed out. “Look, I really have to go now, okay. Pepper wants me back home before I have to deal with the paparazzi. I’ll see you guys soon, but I gotta go. Bye!”

She left before they could even get a word out. Y/n didn’t turn back, just left as quickly as she can and get through the horde of people who were waiting at the gate. She could still feel the lingering stares and the concern in both of her friends’ eyes. It hurt her to watch them. She could still see the picture of their hands entwined together. And just when she thought she won’t see them again after the trip.

She was sorely mistaken.

***

Y/n lied about meeting up with her friends soon.

Every time their group would plan to go out for a movie, eat at a diner, go to the arcade, or simply hang out at each other’s place, she didn’t come. It was always the same reasons: she planned on sleeping in, had to babysit Morgan, Pepper showing her the ropes in the company, Training with Bucky and Sam, or hanging out with Wanda. They wondered if she really was doing those things, but Peter had already seen through all her lies.

And so, Betty brought up an idea. “Why don’t we surprise her? You know, go to her house, or something.”

“Yeah right. Like we can just “walk up” to the Avengers Compound and surprise her.” Flash scoffed, scrolling through his phone.”

“I’m sure they’ll let us in, we’re her friends. And besides, Peter’s with us. He’s been there a lot of times; he could get us in.” Betty turned to him, “Assuming you’d be fine with that, Peter?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course!” He nodded, a little too excited. You can’t blame him though. As much as Y/n had been avoiding her friends, she had given the same treatment to him as well. He would try and chat with her until late at night like they always do. He tried calling her and asked her if she was alright whenever he would notice that something was wrong. But it was always the same, short replies and would end the call after two minutes of starting it. Truth be told, Peter hadn’t even been to the Compound for a long time now. He would try and come by, but she would tell him not too and give him a bunch of ridiculous reasons just to keep him away. There had been a shift in their relationship, and it was evident since the day at the airport. When she felt uneasy the moment she saw him and MJ hand in hand.

He would sometimes call Happy and ask if she was okay. But he was just the same. And he always had that uneasy tone like the last time he called him in London.

There definitely was something wrong with Y/n, and Peter was dying to find out why.

Flash was the one who drove them at the Compound. Says he wanted to come because it was “A Chance of a Lifetime” to be able to visit where the Avengers lived. All of them were in complete awe - besides Peter and MJ. They start looking around once they entered, jaws still slack until they reached the elevator.

“Good morning, Peter.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. greeted through the speakers, making the teens jump. “Would you like me to inform Y/n of your visit?”

“No. Thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

They elevator stopped and the metal doors open to the communal area. His friends stared at him, waiting for an explanation of what happened. “Oh-uh, that was Tony’s A.I… She kind of controls everything in here.” They gave a silent “Oh.” And continued to walk around the area, but careful as to not break or step on anything worth more than-probably, their lives

“Bucky! Did you steal the last cup of my cookie dough?! I told you to get your own stock! If Morgan finds out she’s gonna rip- “

The Stark girl stopped in her tracks when she noticed the familiar faces in the living room. Her eyes were wide in surprise and she almost dropped the freshly cooked bowl of popcorn she was going to bring up to her room. Betty had a gift basket in her arms, Flash had his phone out to record the whole thing, Ned had a “Get Well Soon!” balloon, and MJ and Peter stood side by side, still as close the last time she saw them. Her heart clenched again, and she could feel the flowers, wanting to throw up a whole bouquet then and there.

“Surprise!” Ned and Betty greeted awkwardly throwing their hands up. They were the first ones to come up to her and give her a warm hug.

“W-What are you guys doing here?”

MJ started, “We wanted to surprise you. It’s been a while since we last saw you- “

“And hung out with us!” Ned interjected.

“So, we decided to come and visit you.” Peter finished for them.

“Back at the airport you were looking pale, so we thought you were still sick until now. Hence why we brought this lovely gift basket and balloon for you.”

“Thanks guys. But you really didn’t have to.”

Betty waved it off. “Oh please, It’s the least we could do. You’ve been here ever since our trip ended! We missed hanging out with you, right guys?”

“Right.” they answered in chorus.

She had a soft expression on her face that Peter couldn’t quite place. Isn’t she happy they came by? Before Peter could voice out his question, Y/n started to hurl, and she covered her mouth to prevent whatever was in her mouth spilling on the floor. She quickly dashed to the nearest sink and coughed out the bits in her mouth. The running water rushed down the drain, while the garbage disposal took care of the yellow petals she coughed out. She gripped tightly on the edge of the sink and heaved to catch a breath. She flinched when she felt a hand on her back.

Everyone was circled around her, and the fear of them finding out about the secret she’s been hiding for so long wasn’t helping with the anxiety she moved away, making sure she was at least a few feet away. Her friends gave her a concerned look, not knowing why she was acting strange. But she could see another glint in their eyes: pity. One of the many things that Y/n Stark hated, being pitied.

“Woah! Y/n, how long has that been going on? Are you sure you’re not sick? That looked crazy!” Flash exclaimed, not tucking away his phone. He had the same concern in his eyes. It was rare to see Flash concerned about something.

“Thanks, Eugene. But I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Peter spoke up in a rather harsh tone. It caused the air to become tense and Y/n’s heartbeat spike from the anxiety. Y/n never would have thought Peter would have to use that tone at her – again. She thought by now he would have already forgotten her little episode in the airport, what with all the hang outs he did with the others, patrols and dates with MJ. “You haven’t been feeling well since you came back. It’s wasn’t just the flu, was it Y/n?” He walked closer to her but takes two steps back every time he does.

“No, No, Of course not. I’m just feeling a bit under the weather- “

“You’re lying!” everyone shook at his outburst. “Stop making things up and tell us you’re fine, ‘coz we can clearly that you aren’t. Y/n you haven’t been fine since we came back. Just tell what’s going on so we can help you through it.”

Y/n sighed through her nose. It was quiet for a moment before she opened her eyes and gave them a sad look. “You guys should go. Pepper doesn’t want me to have visitors until I’m cleared.” Without another glance, she left them and went back to her room. She looked at her windows and saw her friends leave the compound. Regret filled her after that, and she tried to keep herself distracted from the heavy feeling that weighed on her shoulders. Text messages came through her phone that night. She received each one from her friends and left them on read. She had hoped Peter would’ve sent one too. But the day ended, and none came through from Peter.

***

Once he was sure everyone was asleep in the Compound, Peter sneaked out of his apartment. It was in the middle of the night, and the Compound was quiet. Sneaking to Y/n’s room was easy. She always left her window for him so that he could sneak in and visit whenever he liked. Lucky for him, her window was still open. He slipped in quietly and closed the glass. The room was a bit of a mess, compared to the usual clean and kept room he had been used to. Y/n wasn’t in her bed, but the covers were pulled up, meaning she must’ve woken up. The bathroom light was on, and he could hear the faucet running.

Peter walked around the room, unsure of what he was supposed to do now. He doesn’t usually do this. When Y/n was keeping something from him, he lets her be. She always promised that she would tell him, and they would talk it out when the time was right and when she was comfortable with telling him. But seeing her condition worsen and the blood on her lips while she coughed her lungs out, he became desperate. He was not about to lose another valuable person in his life. Just as he was about to take a seat on the bed, he noticed something on the floor.

A pile of yellow petals covered in blood.

It trailed, all the way to the bathroom. And just as Peter was about to stand up and walk to the door, the water stopped running and the knob turned. Y/n came out wiping the corner of her mouth with a towel breathing heavily. She looked paler than earlier, and her eyes were red. She had only taken notice of the other presence in her room when she looked at Peter. He had this horrified expression when he looked at the trail that connected from the little pile beside the bed to her. She stood in front of him, like a deer caught in headlights.

_**No use in hiding it from him now.** _


	2. 𝐭𝐰𝐨

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter discovers the truth about y/n’s condition. y/n had already accepted the inevitable, but peter wasn’t. he came up with a plan that could possibly save her, now all he has to do is get her to agree with it.

“Hanahaki. It’s a disease caused by unrequited love, wherein flowers grow inside your chest and cover up your respiratory system, making the host cough up petals and blood until you die.”

Peter was silent for a moment. He was sitting beside her. Mask in hand, his head hung low, just looking at the pile of petals and blood. Everything was still a blur for him, so he replied with a low tone. “How long have you had this?”

“A few years.”

Peter winced at her reply. She had been hiding her disease for years and didn’t tell him? Peter tried to remain cool, hoping she could explain more. There had to be a reason why she hid it from him and their friends. Everything she does after all was for a reason. “Why didn’t you tell any of us you’ve had this for so long? We could’ve helped you.”

She sighed. “Peter, even if I told you guys, there’s nothing you can do.” Even though he couldn’t see her face, the sadness was laced in her voice.

“What do you mean that there’s nothing we can do? There has to be a cure for that!”

“It’s isn’t that simple, Peter.” She stood up from her bed facing him, making Peter look up at her. “It’s either I get surgery or… or my love gets requited. And surgery doesn’t always work.”

He scoffed, “So you plan on giving up?”

“I’m doing the surgery. Pepper has already talked to Stephen and Christine about it. I’m getting the surgery by the end of the week.”

“But you said it yourself that the surgery doesn’t always work! Y/n the best chance you have is getting your love requited.” As if that wasn’t the most obvious answer. Y/n almost laughed, _if only he knew_. There was a time she did thought of that. Try and come between MJ and Peter to save herself from the heartbreak and the disease. Maybe she could do that? Be selfish for once. After all, all her life she had been used to giving, sharing, putting others before herself. But the little voice at the back of her mind was keeping her from doing so. She couldn’t do that to MJ. Most specially, she couldn’t do that to Peter. She had always been at the side, watching him pine over MJ ever since she became more open to their little friend group.

“Who is it then? Who did you fall in love with?” his tone was cold, and it chilled Y/n to the bone.

“You knowing who it is won’t make a difference. He’s already in love with someone else.”

“Then maybe he’ll listen to reason. Y/n, you’re dying!” he stood up, there was a glint of hope in his eyes and Y/n’s heart ached. If anything, she didn’t want to see that hopeful glint in his eyes. It would only hurt more to tell him the whole truth. “Maybe if me and the others can talk to this guy, we can – “

“Pete.”

“—We can try and make him fall in love with you! Then-then you’re cured! You’ll be back to normal.”

“Pete.” She whispered softly, begging him to stop. But Peter continued to ramble on, walking around her room in a quick pace.

“Or we can try and introduce you to some suitors! Speed dating, you know? You’ll fall in love with someone else and maybe your love gets requited back!”

“Peter! It doesn’t work that way, okay!” Y/n finally found her voice. She couldn’t take it anymore. If Peter continued with his hopeful rambling, it’ll become harder and harder to tell him the truth. The despairful truth is better revealed than hiding it behind a hopeful lie. “Hanahaki doesn’t work that way. Love doesn’t work that way! You can’t just beg someone to fall in love with me!”

He turned hot on his heel. “Then what am I supposed to do? Watch you die?”

“That’s not what I’m—”

“Then what, Y/n?! I’m trying to give possible options that might work and-and you just turn them down!”

“That’s because it won’t work!” Her tone matched his. The two were overlapping each other in the heated argument, the loud voices in their heads are all over the place. “Peter, the only solution to this is the surgery. The guy is too far gone. He’s in love, Pete. And the one he’s dating is in love too. I can’t ruin what they have. They’re too good for each other.”

The air between them became calm, a bit more relaxed because of the sincerity in Y/n’s voice. He can tell that she truly loves the guy. Y/n was willing to sacrifice herself and her love for the sake of the two. And it didn’t matter if she was the one who has to suffer just so they could be together. But Peter isn’t having it.

“Tell me.” He gave her a hard look. “Tell me who the guy is.”

Y/n shook her head, “Pete—”

“I’m not letting you die just because of some stupid guy Y/n! I won’t have it! You deserve to live just as everyone does! You deserve to be loved just as they do because I know how much you have given to them - to everyone!” Peter was tearing up. “And the world hasn’t been kind to you too! If anything Y/n, you deserve a lot more because the world has taken a lot from you.”

The pain, the grief, the sadness, everything washed over her. It was like a tsunami of every bad feeling hitting her, and she was in the strike zone, all of it was because of what Peter had said. She didn’t want to feel it. She’s already tired of crying. Wasn’t it already enough? The silent sobs came out of her mouth and the tears were welling up in the corners of her eyes, slowly rolling down in a hot trail.

“If I tell you, everything won’t be the same again.” Her voice was soft and quiet, but it was enough for Peter to hear. His expression changed into confusion. He could feel her heartbeat increase in pace and her anxiety was waving off her.

Peter carefully asked, “What do you mean?”

She bit her lip, anxious to speak out to form the words that’s been sitting in the back of her mind for the past three years she had known him. It took a lot of courage to meet his eyes. She had thought she was would ready to do this, but let’s be honest, since when was anyone ever ready to confront the person they’re in love with? It was a great risk, but Y/n had to let it out now.

“You.” She replied hoarsely. “Ever since sophomore year, it was you.”

It felt like the wind knocked out the air out of Peter. Was he hearing this right? He had to be imagining things. He couldn’t possibly be the one that’s killing her, right? Everything Y/n felt for him was purely platonic.

_It had to be._

The new discovery sent Peter in a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, guilt, sadness, and regret, all rolled into one. He didn’t expect to feel anger, but he did. Though he wasn’t exactly sure who he was angry with. He was angry at himself, for not recognizing what his best friend felt for him all this time and being the cause of her pain. Angry at the disease, because it’s consuming her, and now her time is numbered. He was angry at her, because she didn’t tell him about everything sooner. But Peter didn’t have the heart to be mad at her, even after everything. Because in the end, she made the choice not to tell, and she cared for him and MJ so much that it didn’t matter if her own happiness and life was at stake. Y/n was only human after all. And she was too good for this world.

He lets out a heavy breath. It was still hard to grasp what Y/n just said. It felt like he was going to have a sensory overload. “W-Why? Why? Why didn’t you tell me this before?” his voice was slowly starting to break. The weight of guilt pulling him down to the ground.

“Because this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to you to blame yourself for this, Pete. It’s not your fault, it never was.” She put a hand on his shoulder, but it burned him to feel her sympathetic touch.

“How can you say that this isn’t my fault?! Y/n you’re dying because of _me._ You got this disease because of _me!_ How can you not blame me for this?!”

“Because it’s mine Peter.” She replied calmly. “It’s my fault. I was stupid to fall in love with you and keep it to myself. But I did, Pete.” She took his hand in hers and held it tightly, hoping it might console him. “I fell, and I don’t regret doing so.” A sorrowful smile grew on her face, and instead of giving Peter comfort, he felt bad even more. Y/n was smiling despite the pain. “I never blamed you for this, and I never will. You never even knew in the first place, and I didn’t tell you about it.”

No matter what consolation Y/n would say or soothing gestures, Peter still blamed himself for it. But he didn’t have to tell her that. He didn’t tell her anything, just let her speak out the thoughts that ran in her mind. She was caught off guard when he pulled her in, instantly wrapping his arms around her, and holding on tightly. She could feel her shirt become wet and the silent sobs that came out of his lips. He holds on tightly to her; he feared the coming future. He was scared of losing her, he couldn’t handle losing another person in his life.

“I’m sorry Y/n. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not seeing it sooner. I’m sorry.” He spoke in a hushed voice, and in between the sentence, hiccups would escape his mouth. She circled her arms around him and return the hug, though hers was gentler, made to soothe Peter. The scent sends her heart into a frenzy and it hurt when she realized how this may be the last time she was ever going to be this close to him. “Please, don’t take the surgery. You said it was risky right? That most of the time, the surgery doesn’t work.”

“There’s a 20% chance I might survive. It’s risky, but I’m willing to bet on it.”

“Don’t take it, please. There has to be another way.” He begged.

Y/n shook her head in his shoulder. “I’m taking the surgery, Pete. It’s for the better.”

Peter’s silent sobs echoed around the room, and he held onto her even tighter. He refused to accept it. He doesn’t want to the fact that he was about to lose Y/n too. She rubbed soothing circles around his back, and Y/n can tell it was working. His breathing was slowly becoming steady.

“You should go back to the apartment, Pete. You’re tired, you need rest.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Pete.” She sighed, “You have to go home. May will be wondering where you are. And you need sleep.”

“I’ll sleep here with you.” His voice was muffled by the cloth of her shirt.

“Stop being so stubborn, Pete.”

“I’m not- “

She pulled away from the hug, holding both shoulders in her hands with a hard look on her face. Her eyes were still red from crying and was sniffling a bit, but the authority she held in her voice made her look so strong. “You are going home. That’s final Peter. Don’t make me fly your ass back to the apartment.”

If this was a different situation, Peter would’ve laughed at her. She always found Y/n’s foul mouth entertaining. She was a bit smaller than he was and watching her curse with a hot head made her look like an angry puppy, punk-ass sprites from that one Pixar movie. But it wasn’t. The air still held the same tension, and both still couldn’t stop themselves from crying.

Although he didn’t approve of leaving, he had to comply. Peter nodded and broke away from the hug. She ushered him to her window and Peter settled himself on the wide window ledge. He took a moment and stayed for a bit. He didn’t want to leave just yet. But the pleading eyes Y/n gave him made him sigh.

Peter pulled his mask down and jumped off, swinging into the night. Y/n stayed watching by her window, making sure he was heading off back to his apartment. Once he was out of sight, laid back in her bed and lets out a heavy sigh. The memory of Peter’s sob and the feel of his arms wrapped tight around her made her remember the time when Tony died. It was painful, and everything reminded her of that awful memory. Minutes later, Peter’s message lit up her phone, notifying her that he was back at the apartment safe. She typed back a reply, only keeping it short.

**_Okay. Get some rest._ **

And placed it back on her nightstand. She didn’t want to type out anything longer as it just be harder for her to fall asleep with the already heavy feeling in her chest. She turned on her side and switch off the light.

***

The next day, Y/n woke up to the sound of giggling and bouncing. The high-pitched voice very familiar to her. She immediately recognized the voice that belonged to her little sister, Morgan. All though she had only met her on the day of their father’s funeral, she became attached to the five-year-old in an instant. She loves the little girl to bits, and almost everything she did reminded her of her late father.

“Y/n! Y/n, Y/n, Y/nnnn! Wake up!” she bounced on the bed, shaking her sister’s body. “Mommy is making breakfast!” to the little girl’s dismay, the teen only groaned and covered her head with a pillow. The young Stark huffed and went to Y/n’s side, opening one of her eyes. “Big Sis, wake uuuupp!!”

She sighed in defeat, sitting up on her bed. “All right, all right. I’m up.” A sweet smile makes its way on little Morgan face and she squeals when her sister picked her up from the bed as they make their way downstairs. “Are you feeling better now Y/n? Are the petals and blood gone?” Morgan asked sweetly, looking at her with her doe-like eyes that were always full of curiosity and mischief. It was a trait in the Stark family, and like Y/n, Morgan had inherited their father’s eyes.

“A little, but I’ll be fine soon.”

“You were crying last night. Did something happen?”

Y/n shakes her head. “Just a bad dream Mo. Nothing to worry about.”

“Maybe I can sleep with you next time. That way you won’t get bad dreams!” her face light up at the idea. Morgan had grown to love sleeping in her sister’s room, and vice versa. Something about having someone to tell her stories until she falls asleep, to keep the nightmares at bay, and to wake up beside her big sister. She could only mirror the smile Morgan had on her face and agreed with her.

Once they reached the common area, Pepper was already setting up a plate of pancakes and a bowl of berries on the kitchen table. Sam and Bucky were settled at the living room, watching the television as they ate their breakfast, Rhodey was already finished with breakfast and was making his way out to who knows where, while Wanda was settled on a stool, eating the pancakes Pepper had made beforehand.

“G’morning Mommy!” Morgan bellowed at the strawberry blonde who walked towards them and kissed both of their heads in greeting, ruffling Y/n’s hair to wake her senses up, along with the smell of freshly made pancakes to make her stomach grumble. “Y/n was hard to wake up. But I did it! So, mission accomplished!”

“That you did, sweetie. Great job!” Pepper cooed.

Y/n groaned as she held the sides of her head, “My head is pounding. I’m gonna go make coffee.” It was a daily ritual for her. Every morning she would wake up to Morgan bouncing on her bed and make her disoriented for a bit and leave her a bit wooly. She excused herself from the kitchen island and made her way towards the coffee maker. She doubled the amount of coffee since Sam and Bucky would want some too. Too engrossed with the smell and making her cup, she didn’t notice the presence of her Stepmother standing her.

“Your eyes are red. Did something happen?” she asked, worry laced in the tone.

“Yeah. I just had a bad dream is all.” Y/n shook her head.

“I heard Peter’s voice. Both of you were crying at dawn, Y/n.” She held her breath. Of course Pepper heard. She slept at Morgan’s room last night. Y/n can’t exactly lie to Pepper, nor can she keep a secret from her for a long period of time. The woman had a knack for knowing what’s running through Y/n’s mind, what she was hiding and when she was hiding it. It made Pepper look like she was her biological mother after all this time.

Y/n chuckles jokingly, the infamous smirk slowly appearing on her lips. “Alright, you got me Pep.” She didn’t reply at her. Only kept silent with an expectant look that tells her to continue and share what had happened in the middle of the night. She lets out a breath, “I had another episode that night. While I was in the bathroom, Peter came into my room, and he saw… everything. I told him about the Hanahaki and the surgery. He didn’t take it too well.” Y/n didn’t want to elaborate everything. Peter’s cries and pleads were still fresh in her memory. If she stretched the story further, it’ll start over again. And she already had enough for one day.

Pepper took her in for a hug and place a comforting hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly. “He was gonna find out sooner or later, you know that Y/n.”

She sighs, “Yeah.”

Pepper kissed her forehead lovingly and held both her shoulders, “Peter cares so much about you. He’ll understand.” Y/n could only hope he would. Deep down, Pepper didn’t really want her to do the surgery. She had thought of another possible way, but it was too much to ask for. Stephen had already said the operation would be very risky, so that was already crossed out of her list… But she then thought of Tony. If he was still here, he would’ve taken the chance on getting Y/n to go into surgery, pull all-nighters every day, just so he could save his daughter. So, Pepper agreed to Y/n’s choice.

The morning continued with the usual routine; Wanda playing her guitar, learning new songs or writing whenever inspiration hit her, Sam taking rounds around the compound to make sure there were no intruders, and Bucky would be training for hours in the gym. Y/n used to go with Bucky to train more on her physicality and fighting techniques. But ever since she came back from the trip, Stephen and Pepper had banned her from stepping foot in the gym.

So she went to her lab. Tinkering her suit and sketching some ideas that would randomly come into her mind. Morgan kept her company most of the time. The little girl would wear the prototype helmets for her suit and would impersonate her and their father (she mostly did Tony), play with Dum-E, or sit beside her and observe to just pass the time. Y/n felt like having a tail, and she didn’t mind Morgan’s company, not one bit. She needed someone to get her mind off of Peter after all. And for the past few weeks of keeping her distance from the arachnid, Morgan had replaced the hole that Peter left in her heart.

***

By the time the sun went down, Y/n’s stomach began to rumble. She told Morgan to go fetch some snacks for them so they can eat it in the lab. But too engrossed in her work, Y/n failed to notice that her sister had already been gone for an hour. She looked at her watch. It was time for dinner anyway, so she left her things and journeyed back to the common living room. She could hear her sister’s giggles from the stairs and another voice that made her heart feel unsteady. Her feet stopped moving when she saw Peter, happily playing with Morgan who was on his back and arms looped around his neck. They were running around the living room and Peter made horse noises to make the roleplay believable. It was a sight to see, something that would warm her heart and swell.

Morgan’s eyes lit up when she noticed her big sister in the room. “Y/n!” She exclaimed, and Peter stood up straight as the little girl brought his attention to Y/n. Both of their eyes read the same expression. His eyes were better than before, no red and not puffy anymore. He looked well, compared to Y/n’s tired one’s.

The little girl climbed down the teen’s back and ran towards her sister, pulling at her arm to meet Peter in between. “Mommy told me to keep Peter company while she cooked dinner! He’s the horse while I’m the princess.” her giddiness showing in the little hops that she does. Morgan didn’t know about the feelings she has for Peter, but ever since he first saw him at the funeral, then his visits to the compound, she loved seeing her sister and her friend together. And more often than not Morgan teased her with Peter. The little rascal had a glint in her eyes and Y/n could only pray that Morgan doesn’t do her teasing in front of him.

“You should join us Y/n! You can be the Queen and Peter will be the Knight.”

As if on cue, Wanda called from the dining table for dinner. She was helping Pepper set up the table with the dishes they made. Bucky was already on his seat and Sam was making juice in the kitchen. It was rare for the Avengers to be sitting in the dining table along with the Starks. They mostly ate take outs and Wanda’s cooking if she wasn’t too lazy. They were lucky enough to have Pepper to cook for them when she wasn’t working late, and today was one of those days.

“You should join us Peter. We have an extra seat left.” Pepper came in with a pot in her hand as sets it down on the table.

Peter glances at Y/n, looking for signs of defiance, or anything that tells him not to stay. But she doesn’t say anything, instead, she jerks her head towards the table and led Morgan, he followed shortly after.

Shock flashed in everybody’s eyes when they saw Y/n coming in with Peter in tow but was quickly masked with a warm smile. “Here Peter, saved you a seat.” Rhodey patted to the one next to him. Y/n sat on the other side of the table, and it was obvious she wasn’t meeting Peter’s gaze. Thankfully, the adults knew how to keep the tension at bay. They included them in the conversation every once in a while. Peter tried to be more social to try and lighten Y/n’s mood, but she was still and quiet as a statue.

When she finished, she pushed off her seat and kissed Morgan’s temple. “I’ll be up in my room. Goodnight everyone.” She quickly made her way up the stairs. Something about Peter’s presence set off her mood. She thought she had already figured everything out in the past few hours she’s been cooped up in the lab, turns out she hadn’t. She had been avoiding it. And now that Peter was here (again), she didn’t know what to do. She was positive there was something he wanted to discuss. And handling another talk about her condition and their friendship was something she doesn’t want to do for the second time this day.

She heard a rap on her door and the person behind it didn’t mind waiting for a reply. Peter turned the knob and entered, closing the door behind him. “We need to talk.”

“There’s nothing else to talk about, Pete.” She avoided his eyes. “I told you, there’s no other way. I’m taking the surgery whether you have a say in it or not.”

“But there is a way.” He took a step forward, the same glimmer of hope in his eyes when he held her hand. “Y/n, I figured it out. You don’t have to take the surgery.”

She looked at him cluelessly, not following on what he’s getting at. “You ‘figured it out’? Peter, I don’t understand.”

“I wanna learn how to love you.”

Her eyes slowly widen, and she pulled her hands towards her and slowly backed away from Peter. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“I’m not Y/n. I want to save you.”

Y/n gave a bitter laugh. She had a hunch that Peter would think of that, she just didn’t believe something like that could happen, until now. “Peter, you can’t _learn_ to love someone.”

“But what if I can? You’re not hard to love after all.”

Her hands ran through her hair, pursing her lips. “It doesn’t work that way Pete! And I’m not gonna let you ruin your relationship with MJ for this.” She started pushing him towards the door. It was already enough that he found out about her condition, but offering such a thing just to save her? Y/n’s already had it. She wanted to do it, deep down. But she decided against it. Peter was better off with MJ anyway. And if the surgery’s a success, she wouldn’t have to feel that pain anymore.

It was a win-win for the both.

Peter stood his ground and remained in the same place. “Why are you being stubborn? I’m trying to save you from this Y/n! I got you in this and I want to get you out of it!”

“Peter, it’s not your obligation to do this.”

“But it is! It is Y/n! I look at you and all I feel is I-I just have to, okay! Why won’t you just let me?”

“Because I don’t want you to!” She yelled out in frustration.

Heaves of heavy breaths fall from her lips, and the hard look she once had soften. “I don’t want you to force yourself to love me, Peter. It all comes out naturally, you know that. And I deserve more than that.” She took a step forward and was hesitant to take his hand in his. She decided to shove it in the pockets of her sweater instead. “Look, I’m content with what we already have Pete. Really, I am. I’m happy knowing that you finally have MJ as your girlfriend, I’m happy that you’re becoming better and better every day with your new suit, and I’m happy to see you becoming the man Dad had always seen in you ever since you first met. I’m happy with the thought of you as my friend, Pete. That you love me and care for me, just as how Dad did. And I’m okay with that. I’m okay with everything.”

It was silent for a moment, until Peter spoke breathlessly. “But is it enough to save you?”

The air got caught in her throat. She wanted to tell him _‘No. It wouldn’t.’_. But if she did, Peter wasn’t going to let his option off the table. Tears started welling up in her eyes and when the hot trail rand down her cheek, she quickly swiped it away with her thumb. She didn’t notice Peter was slowly inching towards her, the distance between them becoming dangerously close. His breath fanned over her face and Peter lifted his hand to push away the baby hairs that stuck out of the unkept bun she made. He could feel her heart spike and her anxiety radiating off. He held her hand and place the other on her cheek in hopes to keep her calm at the proximity between them. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, but he kept the same eyes trained on her, and behind it was something Y/n couldn’t read. As she was about to step back, Peter had already caught on and pulled her in before she could walk away.

Peter’s lips were soft. It looked soft even if she eyed it for a few moments, every time he pursed it when focusing, or wetting it with his tongue when he feels nervous and awkward. The feeling of his lips on hers made her body buzz and eyes cloud in haze. His lips felt soft, but this kiss was hard. Although Y/n’s heart was pounding, she didn’t feel any affection through the kiss. His features had already displayed the feeling; desperation, anger, sadness - all of it in a mix. His brows were furrowed, and Y/n could see a tear peeking underneath his eye.

If it were a normal setting, she would’ve kissed back. If she didn’t have the Hanahaki, If Peter did love her truly, if he wasn’t dating MJ, she would’ve melted in the kiss and loop her arms around him and play with the baby hairs on the back of his neck.

But it wasn’t. _This is wrong._

She put her hand on his chest and pushed him forcefully, making him tumble. Shock and hurt painted on her face as she grazed her lips with her fingers. Her lips still buzzed with the feeling of Peter’s lips. She raised her chin and connected her eyes with his. “Why did you do that?” her voice was pained, soft, and regret laced in it.

“I wanted to.” He spoke truthfully.

He took a sure step towards her, taking out his hand to reach out but she pushes it away. The soft and pained look in her eyes transitioned into a hard-cold glare, hands tightened in fists, and lips start trembling. The tears were about to fall, and she didn’t want Peter to watch her and try comforting her.

What he did was already upsetting enough.

“ _Get out Peter_.” She growled.

“I’m not leaving. Not until we finish talking— “

“Get the fuck out of my room Parker! I’m done talking about it! Get out!” She pushed him harder this time, but he didn’t move. _Fucking super strength._ He wasn’t making it any easier. She started punching him pathetically. Y/n knew she was already looking like an idiot, but Peter fucked her up. Bad.

“Leave Peter! I’m done! And don’t come back here again!”

“Y/n- “

 _“GET OUT!”_ She shoved his body hard enough to lead him to the hallway. The doors immediately shut and clicked before Peter could even get back to his feet and push it open. She can hear the knocks from the other side of the door and his voice calling out to her, telling her to open it and talk it out. But she was done with talking. And now her feelings and her senses are getting fucked up because of his stupid kiss. Y/n wanted to sob, wanted to bawl her eyes out like any normal teenager does when their hearts get broken.

But she didn’t.

She climbed in the bed and covered herself underneath the sheets and pillows. The sound behind her door was drowned out, and Y/n lulled herself to sleep _. Fuck these feelings. Fuck her stupid heart. Fuck this disease._

Fuck Peter Parker for messing her up.

***

Over the course of the following days, Y/n ignored all of Peter’s attempts to make contact. Her phone ringed and buzzed for days, but not once did she pick up his calls. Her windows and blinds were shut in case he attempted to climb through the window. And his visits were no longer welcome. She made sure to lock her door unless no one else was inside the compound.

When surgery day came, she didn’t hear her phone sound off a notification from Peter. No calls, No messages. It was a quiet morning, which was a relief for Y/n. Pepper knocked on her door to let her know that Stephen and Christine will be coming in a few hours. They’ll run a few tests and proceed with the surgery. Her stomach felt empty, and the low rumble of her belly didn’t make it any easier. She was only allowed to drink a few glasses of water from time to time. _God, I just want this to be over._

A knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts and she mumbled a soft ‘Come in’. Wanda peeked from her door with a gentle smile on her face. “Someone’s here for you.” Her heartbeat quickened and her temper rose.

“If it’s Peter, tell him to go fuck himself. I don’t plan on talking to him anytime soon.”

The witch shakes her head, “It’s not Peter.”

Her brows furrowed, confused. “Who is it then?” Who else would be visiting her? She wasn’t expecting anyone else. Wanda jerked her head inside the room and the mysterious visitor pushed the door open. The familiar long brown curls and the tanned complexion slowly unveiled behind the white door, and the I-don’t-give-a-fuck aura entered the room. Her stomach drop and the tension rose. There was another person she didn’t want to see, and it was the person now standing in front. Michelle stood with her usual cool and composed posture, but Y/n was the total opposite.

“So, I heard you’re getting a surgery?”


	3. 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mj and y/n have the talk. she tries to knock some sense into her. meanwhile, wanda and peter discuss something equally serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> play the song Let's Go Fly a Kite" from the movie Mary Poppins upon seeing this point * for a more optimal reading experience.

MJ wore an unamused expression on her face, and Y/n mirrored her. Although she felt anxious, her face easily masked her feelings. Y/n knows MJ doesn’t sugar coat her words when she tells the truth. So she already expects that she was gonna hit her with hard cold facts and slap a thick-ass slab of truth in her face.

“I’m guessing Peter told you about it, huh?” She raised a brow.

“That, and I had a hunch about it.” Y/n rolled her eyes inwardly. _Of course she did._

She turned away from her and continued preparing herself for the surgery. “Look, if you’re here to make me change my mind about this, don’t even bother. You’re just gonna get the same answer if you try MJ, so I suggest you just leave.”

“I’m not here to stop you.”

She froze, surprised at the tanned girl’s nonchalant answer. Y/n eyed her with suspicion. Is she being for real right now? “You’re not.” And she shook her head. “Then why are you here?”

Michelle took a sure step towards her bed and sat beside her, bodies facing towards each other. “I’m here to fully give you my support. I’m not gonna fight you with a decision you’ve already made. You chose to do this, so maybe it’ll be the best for you. I’m not gonna lie though, I’m not too keen about your surgery. But I’m your friend, so I’m gonna support you.”

A small smile resurfaces on her lips. She didn’t expect MJ to say that, in all honesty. She’s a strong force to be reckoned with, just like Y/n. That was the reason why she respected her so much. But hearing her being supportive was a fresh breath of air. “Thanks MJ. I-I really needed that.” She pulled her in for a hug. A short but reassuring hug that made the tension in the room go away. When they pulled back she has a tight smile on her lip, and she can tell that her friend still has something to say.

“There’s something else, is there?”

MJ rubbed her hands. “We… We have to talk about Peter.” And just like that, the tension instantly came back. Y/n can talk to Michelle about anything, she was an open book. But talking to her about Peter was a thread she doesn’t want to pull. If Michelle knew about the Hanahaki, then she knows about Y/n’s feelings about her boyfriend. Along with the tension, Y/n’s temper rose as she was reminded again about the kiss.

“I really don’t wanna talk about him MJ.” She mumbled.

“Why? Because I know how you feel for him?” _Yes._ “Let’s put that aside Y/n. I don’t care about that. What I care about right now is your relationship with Peter.”

“There’s nothing else to tell, MJ. We talked, we fought, and I kicked him out of my room. End of story.”

MJ eyed her suspiciously. She didn’t know what went down between Peter and Y/n, but she knew the two were in a bad place, and that she wasn’t on speaking terms with him. It must’ve been really bad if Y/n wasn’t talking to him.

She sighed, “He was only being a friend, you know. Sure what he might’ve said or might’ve done pissed you off, but you have to know he did it for the best intentions.” A scowl made its way on Y/n lips. “ _Best intentions” my ass. Easy for you to say, you weren’t there._

“Did he tell you what happened? What made me so pissed at him?”

“All he said was that he suggested this idea of learning to love you and that you fought.”

“And do you think it’s a good idea?” She raised a brow. MJ kept silent for a moment. She was deciding on what to say, and the silence only made Y/n impatient. “Well? Do you, MJ?”

The girl bit her lip. “If it’ll save you and has a higher chance at doing so, then yes.”

Y/n lets out a dry laugh and shook her head. Disappointed. Just when she thought MJ already had her back on the choice she already made. “Unbelievable. I thought you supported me.”

“I am.”

“Then why are you taking his side?!”

“Y/n, I’m not taking any sides. I do support you, really I do. But you have to know that Peter gave an option that’s best for you. Because he thought it’s what’ll heal you better than the surgery.” MJ explained calmly. Fighting Y/n with the same energy would do nothing. She learned that once in debate class.

“The best for me? Forcing himself to learn to love me and giving you up is ‘what’s best for me’?” she said, sarcasm laced in her tone.

“You can’t blame him, Y/n. What else was he supposed to do? His best friend is dying, so he thought of a way to save her. Wouldn’t you have done the same if the roles were reversed?” Her words echoed in Y/n’s brain, and for a minute she contemplated. MJ huffed and places a reassuring hand on Y/n’s lap. “Look, you and Peter, have gone through a lot of shit together. Hell, you two probably got the whole school beat with what you’ve went through both as superheroes and teens. But maybe you should give the idea one more chance; think about it. And whatever you choose, I will fully support you. But you don’t have to be facing this alone, Y/n. The two of you have faced a lot, more than any other teenager. So why not go through this with Peter. That’s how you two have always done it, right?”

Y/n pursed her lips and processed everything. She scanned MJ’s eyes to see if there was anything more that she was holding back. A question formed in her head, one that’s been sitting at the back of her mind ever since Peter brought up the idea. “But what about you? What about you and Peter?”

A smile formed on MJ’s lips, but she knew it was forced. A sad one. But her eyes reflected honesty as she spoke, “I’d rather have you here with us.”

***

When Wanda came down, Peter’s head perked up at the sounds of the footsteps, assuming it was already Y/n. He had been waiting patiently for her ever since Wanda had brought MJ up to her room to talk with Y/n in hopes of changing her mind. The restlessness was evident on Peter’s face and the anxiety on the bobbing of his knee. Wanda sat down with him on the couch to keep him company.

“You think you will be able to change her mind? You know she’s very hard headed.” Peter laughed at Wanda’s remark. “Very much like her father.” It was true. In so many ways, Y/n was like her father, just like Morgan. But you can still somehow distinguish the difference between her and Tony. Like how she would be a bit more sassy, childish in her ways, and mature in some parts of her way of life/

“Yeah. She is.” Peter smiled absentmindedly, but this didn’t go unnoticed by Wanda.

She shifted in her seat and faced towards Peter, a more serious look in her face. “You’re a good kid Peter. I know you’re trying to do right by Y/n, but you don’t have to force yourself to do this. What you are trying, planning to do with Y/n is risky. Much more than the surgery, Pete.”

The young boy looks at Wanda confusedly. “What do you mean?” He had thought this through, for the past few days, this idea was the only thing that gone through his head. He knew it was full-proof. So why would Wanda say it was risky?

“I know that this friend you’ve brought with you is more than just your friend. I can see the way you look at her Peter, the eyes never lie.” Peter shifted in his seat, guilty. “Learning to love someone isn’t the same as falling for them, Peter. They are two completely different things. You are already in love. And learning to love another while your heart is already taken is both a risk to your relationship with Y/n and her disease.”

Peter kept silent as Wanda continued. He knew how much Wanda cared for Y/n. How she loved her as a sister and would do almost anything for her well-being. She didn’t care if she was a Stark, she didn’t care that she was Tony’s daughter. Because unlike her relationship with Tony, Y/n was closer to her. And Tony took that as an advantage to get through with Wanda, and build a civil relationship with her. She already lost Nat, Vision, and Steve. If she were to lose Y/n too, she wouldn’t know what would happen.

“I know that you care so much about her Peter. But I don’t expect you to fall in love with her instantly. She was your friend first after all. I just hope, in time, you will love her for who she is, and not just out of obligation. Because that what she deserves, Peter.” The sincerity and sadness in Wanda’s voice pierced through his heart. Peter couldn’t form words with all of the witch’s emotions and words washing him like a wave. Fear took place in his body. Y/n’s life was in his hands. If something were to happen to her, Peter would be the one to blame. The thought of this made him more determined.

_I won’t let anything happen to her._

He could hear footsteps descending from the stairs and hushed voices speaking. Two heartbeats; He recognized the first one beating calmly and at a normal pace, while the other one was faint and weaker. MJ appeared from the stairs, followed by a sickly looking Y/n. She froze from where she stood, and he noticed her fingers curl into a grip on the metal railing. The lingering stare and shock in her eyes already told him that she was not expecting his presence. Truthfully, Y/n wasn’t ready to see him at all.

MJ turned towards her and gave her a soft reassuring smile, hugging her before she tells her, “You know what to do.” The girl holds her hand tightly before slipping away and walking towards Peter. She gave him a small pat on his shoulder when he stood, and they nodded at each other before she left. The sight of them made Y/n want to choke again on a petal. But she keeps it to herself. _Breathe in, breathe out._

She walks a few steps towards the couch. Wanda meets her mid-way, and a teasing smile was on her lips. Y/n had an unamused expression, “You told me he wasn’t here.”

“It must’ve slipped my mind.” She chuckled mischievously, successfully annoying the teenager even more. The brunette witch nudged her shoulder and nodded her head towards Peter. “Go talk to him. I’ll be in my room.” And she left the room without another glance.

As soon as Wanda made her way to the stairs, the tension in the air became thick. Peter suddenly felt his throat become dry. This was the first time in days he’ll be talking to her again, seeing her again. Unlike before, when she was shutting herself from their friend group, Y/n had managed to reply to his messages—even if it was short. But this week, Peter felt like he had been talking to a ghost. And being with her, alone in the room, felt different to him.

Y/n was the first to make a move. She took hesitant steps towards him, hands shoved in the pockets of her hoodie that were a bit too long for her stature. She clears her throat once she was already at arm’s length. “Hey.”

“H-Hey…” He greeted, lips smiling in a thin line, hands in his pockets as he swayed back on forth on his heels. There was an awkward silence between them as her eyes trailed around the room, she wringed her hands inside her pocket to let out the pent-up cumbersome feeling.

“We should sit down for this.” She suggested, to which Peter nodded in reply. They sat in a moment of silence before Y/n drew in a long breath. “First off, I’m sorry for ignoring you for the past few days… And shutting you and our friends out. That was a really dick move.”

Peter straightened up. “I just thought, maybe if I kept you out of the light, it would be easier to just… get rid of it. If you knew, it’ll just mess things up and get more complicated—which, it did. But I realized, you were gonna find out sooner or later anyway. Before or even after I take the surgery.” Y/n sighed through her nose as she faced her body towards Peter, lifting her hand to rest her head on her palms. Peter mirrored her position but kept his hands on his lap, listening intently to everything she says. “I was planning to hide it from you guys for the rest of the summer. And just—I don’t know… Not talk about it when we go back to school. I’m sorry Pete.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry too. For prying, for being an asshole, and…” he gulped. “And the kiss, that was uncalled for. Peter face flushed at the memory of it. Up until now he could still feel the tingle and the sensation of feeling Y/n’s lips on his. He would be lying if he told himself he didn’t like it. Truth be told, he liked the feeling of her lips on his. How she tasted of that lip scrub she always used; the honey flavored one. How soft it was when he pressed against it. He would love to have that feeling on him again.

“I-uh, talked to MJ about the whole thing. Told me she was gonna support me with whatever I choose to do.” Peter became more attentive, moving closer without knowing. “But she reminded me about how we’ve always gone through everything together, no matter what. And that maybe… We should do it again.” She pulled out her hands from her pockets and picked at the lint on her hoodie. “I’m scared, Pete. I know that you’re willing to do this, but I’m still not sure about the whole idea. I don’t want anything to change what we have now.”

His heart pangs at her honesty. He could see her slowly become undone, and the hesitance in her voice showed how she feared this idea she would be getting into. Peter didn’t know, but there were other things she feared if she were to agree with him. What if he won’t learn how to love her? What if it won’t work out? What if it’ll only become worse?

_What if he still loved MJ? And still wants her?_

Either the surgery or this, Y/n would still be on the path to death. She was cornered. Truly, it was inevitable.

Peter reached for her hand and held onto it. A thousand thoughts were running through her brain, and he can tell that all of it were starting to get through her. His thumbs rubbed the roof of her hand soothingly to calm her down. “Nothing is gonna change between us, Y/n. Y-yeah there might be a few things that’ll change. But I’ll still be the Peter you snuck out with to Barcelona. You don’t have to fully give your heart to me while we do this. Just let me lear-…. Let me fall in love with you.”

He didn’t notice how close he already was to her. Heck, he didn’t even know how he got so close to her! The proximity was the same as when they stood in the middle of her room. Close enough that he could count her lashes, close enough that she could trace out the line of his slightly crooked nose. He could feel her heart beat at a calm pace, but it was livelier than before.

She pursed her lips as he looked into his brown irises. Slowly she nodded, “Alright.” And it was enough for Peter feel relief wash over him. The corners of his mouth turned upward into a gentle smile and he nodded too. Somehow, Peter couldn’t seem to pull away from where he already was. His body told him to stay, and so was hers.

The feeling of wanting to kiss her came back, and he gulped at that thought. Looking at her lips, he was already tempted to close in the space. But he had to ask her first. They were just starting out, he wanted her to trust him, her consent if she would allow him to catch her lips in his. _He hoped she would._

“C-can I kiss you?” he asked gently, afraid he might scare her away.

At this point Y/n was like a fawn; innocent, fragile, and easily scared. Her heart was screaming _‘Yes! Just go for it already!_ ’. But her mind told her to pull back the reigns. It wouldn’t be the right time, and her emotions were all over the place. Kissing Peter would only make her cloud her judgement and easily give up the remaining pieces of her heart. His lips ghosted over hers and if she leaned in, she’d already be closing the gap.

Y/n shook her head and sucked in a breath. “I don’t think we should, Pete.” She inched away from his face, but bodies were still as close as ever. “We can, but not now. This is a new territory for us, Peter. And we’re only testing out the waters so… Maybe not yet.”

She saw how his shoulders slouched and disappointment clear in his eyes. Nevertheless, he nodded. “Yeah… You’re right.” His eyes trained on her hand as he continued the gesture he had been doing earlier. Peter didn’t notice until now, but Y/n’s hands were calloused. It was a perfect fit in his, but it was different from holding MJ’s.

A few of MJ’s fingers were rough, but it couldn’t compare to Y/n’s. Her calloused hands must’ve been from all the training and inventing she had been doing after all those years she had been living with the Avengers. Peter wondered how soft her hands would be had she not been building suits and machines with Tony, or trained with Natasha, Steve and Clint. Were there times were she’d cut herself while doing a project with her Dad? Or maybe sprained her wrist and break her arm while in combat? He didn’t know why but Peter felt the need to just give the affection she deserves. She wouldn’t let him kiss her lips, so she opted for her hand instead.

The gesture made the heat run up to her cheeks, but she didn’t pull away. Peter continued peppering kisses on the roof her hand, her fingers, then a long one on her knuckles. He pulled his head up and she was greeted by his lopsided grin that she had grown fond off. “W-what the hell was that for?”

“Well, you wouldn’t let me kiss you.” He shrugged. “So until you let me, this’ll be our thing.” He pulled in her hand again to place soft kiss on top. The gesture made the butterflies flutter in her stomach. They were only just beginning, but Y/n can already see the changes between their relationship. Where they stand, wasn’t already at one side, but in the middle of everything.

She smirked and raised a brow. “I don’t know. I think bear hugs are more of our thing.”

A chuckle escapes his lips upon hearing the teasing tone in her voice. It reassured him. With just a mischievous glint and smirk, Peter knew that they were finally back on track. Maybe having this with Y/n wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“It can be both of our things.”

***

Y/n Stark doesn’t get scared when going on dates.

Not often, really. But somehow her first date with Peter got through her head. It wasn’t anything special, to be honest. They’ve done it a lot of times already. Sometimes including Ned and their other friends at Peter’s apartment, or at Betty’s since she loves hosting their little get-togethers. But a night-in movie date in her room, alone with Peter, made her palms sweat.

It had already been a few days since they’ve established the new relationship. Peter swung by the Compound and would spend the rest of the day with her and the team. Most of the time, it was just the two of them making new updates for their suits or playing Morgan to keep her company. It hit Peter that day that they haven’t had their first date.

_So that morning, he went to the Compound and bought down a plate of omelettes, toast, peanut butter and jam. The lab was booming with music when he entered. He settled the plates down on one of the empty tables. Y/n’s back faced him and was oblivious of Peter’s presence in the room. Quietly he walked towards her and tapped her shoulder. She beamed at the sight of him. “Hey.”_

_“I brought breakfast. Pepper said you were up early and didn’t bother to go up. So, I bought them down for you.”_

_“Aww thanks.” She cooed. “But you didn’t have to, you know. I’m not that hungry anyway.”_

_“Nope. Nuh-uh. You are not gonna skip the most important meal of the day.” He easily picked her up from her chair and she thrashed her legs around._ Stupid superhuman strength.

_“What the fuck? Peter put me down!”_

_He dropped her on one of the metal stools and took one for him, sitting beside her. She glared at him picking up the fork to pick at her omelette. “I can get brunch later, you know.”_

_“I doubt that.” He quipped as he prepared a PB &J. When the music changed his feet started tapping and hummed to the riff of the guitar. “Oh God I love Led Zeppelin!”_

_Y/n gave him an incredulous look. “You know that’s Back in Black, right?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Dude. That’s AC/DC.”_

_He blinked. “…It is?” Peter half-shrugged. Not caring at all as he happily ate his sandwich. “Well, people make mistakes.”_

_“You’re such a loser.” She chuckled, eating her own breakfast. Peter didn’t mind answering her back. He loved having their little fights, but he was hungry as hell. The music filled the space so it wasn’t silent. Y/n occasionally hummed to the tune while scrolling through her phone. “So, what are you doing here today? I thought you were gonna patrol the city then come back later in the afternoon.”_

_“Oh yeah! I’m still gonna patrol the city. Just came by to have breakfast and play with Morgan. Where is Morgan by the way?”_

_“Asleep. She had too many juice pops last night.” He hummed, satisfied with her answer. But the constant tapping on the desk told her that there was something else on his mind. Peter had always been a fidgeter. He always gets this way when there was something on his mind but was too nervous to ask about it. “Pete.” He hummed and lifts his chin up. “What’s on your mind?”_

_The brunette stopped chewing, puffing out the small amount of air he had been holding. Even though he already had numerous dates with MJ and one with Liz, asking someone out wasn’t Peter’s forte. It was just Y/n, she’ll probably say Yes. She was his girlfriend after all. But what if she has other things to do? Or she wants to take things a bit more slow?_ Damn it Parker. Just man up!

_“I-uhm… Well, I just realized that we haven’t had our first date yet. Like, an official date- just the two of us. A-And I was wondering if we can have a movie marathon in your room for our… first date.”_

_Y/n almost choked on the food she was chewing._ That’s what I get for even asking.

_She thought they were already past that. Peter had already been in the Compound a number of times and hung out with her in the lab, and bonded with her and Morgan every time the child demanded to play with her. Weren’t those already considered as dates? Then again, those dates were mostly just her making updates on her suit, playing with Morgan, and helping Peter with his suit._

_“Y/n?”_

_“Mhm?” She blinked at him. For a moment she was lost in her own thoughts._

_Peter stuttered with his words._ Maybe she doesn’t want to do it? _“If you d-don’t wanna do it, it’s fine. I can understand if you’re busy or if you just-“_

_“No!” she immediately cuts him off. “No. We… We can do it. Are you gonna be sleeping over?”_

_Peter always slept at the Compound whenever they had their traditional movie marathon. And most of the time, Peter was the first to doze off if there weren’t enough snacks and drinks to keep him awake. So it always resulted to Peter sleeping in Y/n’s room rather than the one he had at the other end of the hall._

_He nodded, a bit too excited. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be sleeping over.”_

_“Okay. I’ll tell prepare your room, just in case you wanna sleep there later.” Peter frowned a bit at that. He didn’t want to sleep in his room. He wanted to sleep beside her, just like old times. But he kept quiet and didn’t protest._ Baby steps, Peter.

_“Sure. I’ll come at around… 9? Or 10-ish.”_

_Y/n rolled her eyes. Knowing full well that he’ll come late as always. “Come by at 11 and if you’re late, I’m locking you out of my room.”_

_A soft chuckle escapes his lips as he started cleaning up the table once he finished his sandwich. “I’ll make sure I won’t. I gotta go now. See you later?”_

_“Yeah. See ya.”_

_Peter quickly reached for her hand and placed a soft kiss, running out of the lab quickly after. The lab then felt empty. Y/n was left alone with her playlist, tools, and nervous thoughts about the planned date._

She already set everything needed for the marathon: laptop, charger, junk food, candy, and a shit ton of sodas and iced coffees. If they were gonna have a movie marathon, they were gonna do it right. It was already ten minutes to 11, and Peter still hadn’t arrived. She waited until the clock struck 11, and that consisted of mostly scrolling on her phone and idly laid on her bed, staring at the white ceiling. A tap on her window pulls her from her thoughts and the glass slid to the side.

Peter entered her room, masked tucked in his backpack, while he stood before her in his suit. “Hi.” He greeted warmly. But Y/n eyed him with half-lidded eyes and a frown on her face.

Her arms were crossed when she sat up from her bed. She stated with a flat tone, “You’re late.”

“I’ve got twenty seconds to spare! You gotta cut me some slack, Hun.”

Y/n only rolled her eyes at him. She stood up from her bed and examined his face, face in between her palms. “So, were you hurt? Do you need me to patch you up?”

“I could use a kiss. I heard kisses makes the pain go away.” A bold smirk grows on his face. She pushed his shoulders hard but in a joking manner, making Peter laugh at her reaction.

“Cheeky bastard. Go and take a shower, Dork! You fucking stink.”

Peter raised his arms in defeat, walking towards the bathroom with his backpack. “Don’t start the movie without me. And don’t finish the snacks!” The boy definitely took his time in the shower. He was playing music while the water was running and sometimes, she could even hear him singing to the lyrics of Elton John, which was definitely off-tune.

“Amaaazing concert! Didn’t knew you were into Elton John.”

Peter rolled his eyes playfully as he stepped out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel and now dressed in sweatpants and grey shirt. “Your playlist got stuck in my head. So yeah, thanks for that.”

“The man’s got glam, rock, and pop all rolled into one.” She half shrugged and a smirk grew on her face. “Dude, you were singing to Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. Just admit that I’ve already influenced good music taste in your earbuds.”

“I don’t wanna make your head any bigger than it already is, but I’ll admit, you have _adequate_ music taste.”

“Meh. I’ll take what I can.” She pats the empty side on her bed and Peter runs up to the cushion, bouncing on the mattress he rips open the pack of chips. She giggles at his antics. “You’re such a dweeb.”

Peter munches on his snack. “First, you call me a Cheeky Bastard. Then you call me a Dork, and now I’m a Dweeb? Just pick one Y/n geez.”

“I don’t need to pick one, Parker. You’re all of them.”

She managed to make him groan in annoyance, which made him tilt his head back. It was moments like these where Y/n truly felt happy with him. Sure, she liked being around him with their other friends, but she liked the little moments she had together with Peter. The connection where no one else had to witness it except for the two of them. But at the start of their friendship, Peter and Y/n didn’t flirt as much as they did now. Y/n had felt the change, and it was moving fast.

The marathon started off with a Star Wars movie, courtesy of one Peter Parker, of course. Y/n would try and sneak in a few snide comments to piss Peter off or spoil the following scenes just to see him make the cute face he did whenever he was annoyed. One of the reasons why Y/n always loved teasing him whenever she could.

The next movie was Y/n’s pick, a favorite of hers since she was a child. Pepper used to watch it with her on late nights whenever she insisted on waiting up for her Dad. She didn’t know why out of all the Disney Classics her favorite movie was the one that had a flying nanny instead of princesses, prince, and talking animals.

Maybe it was because of the show tunes, or how she was so fascinated by the story. Now that she was older, Y/n had realized, her childhood wasn’t that different from the movie. Her Dad was always out of the house and had no time for her, while Pepper and Rhodey were mostly the ones to keep her in check back at Malibu. Maybe that’s why, she related herself to the Banks Children. But Y/n digresses. The future turned out to be great. Her Dad become more affectionate and started caring more for her. The future had different plans, but Y/n didn’t regret the childhood she had, because Tony made up for it.

“Y/n?” Peter tapped her shoulder and she turned her head to see worry in her eyes. “You’re crying.” He had pointed out. She only noticed once a tear ran down her cheek and dropped on her hoodie. She quickly wipes it away with her sleeve and waves it off.

“I’m fine. I just remembered something about Dad, don’t worry about it.” She sniffed.

Peter didn’t say anything, only stared at her. He doesn’t what exactly was running through her mind right now, but all he knows is that the movie reminded her of Tony. Just looking at her, he could tell that it was still hurting, but at peace with everything. She didn’t sob like how she used to every time a memory of Tony triggered her, only silently crying. Y/n was independent, even when handling her emotions. Nevertheless, this didn’t stop Peter from being the shoulder she could lean on.

Without a word, he circles his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in close. He placed her hands around his torso and her head on his chest, directly where his heart is. She could feel the beating of the little organ and it gradually increases in pace and thumping more loudly in her ears. Y/n wasn’t sure if was her heartbeat that she was hearing in her ears or his because both were beating at a common rhythm. Peter might’ve already known, but she doesn’t bring it up, only teasing him to ease the tension.

“It’s beating fast. Haven’t cuddled a girl before, Parker?” she smirks.

“Not really. I’m usually the little spoon. But I don’t mind the change, I actually quite like it. “And there it was again, the adorable grin.

“Don’t enjoy too much. I’m kicking your balls later for taking advantage of the situation.” A hearty laugh bounced around the walls and it was like music to her ears. Y/n wondered what he meant by the “change” he mentioned. Was he referring to the cuddle positions or the change in their relationship? _You numbskull, of course he was referring to the cuddle positions. Don’t look into it much._ Shesecretly hoped it was the latter

*****

The movie continued and not one of them had moved from the comfortable position, only when they needed to drink or eat some snacks. At the last song of the movie, Y/n found herself singing to the tune quietly to herself. But considering the closeness of her face to Peter’s, he heard the quiet singing, and he found it quite endearing. So he joined in, singing with her as he held her close.

“Let’s go fly a kite  
Up to the highest height!  
Let’s go fly a kite and send it soaring  
Up through the atmosphere  
Up where the air is clear  
Oh, let’s go fly a kite!”

The credits rolled as the movie ended. She still hadn’t move from his chest, only listened to his stable breathing. It was calming to hear and feel the falls and rises. Peter was the same. His arms were still around her and gently rubbing her forearm with his thumb. He had never been this intimate with Y/n before. Besides the times when she laid her head on his shoulder or held his hand when pulling him somewhere, or when he hugged his torso. But out of all of those things, this intimate moment was Peter’s favorite so far.

“You know, back in London, I never really got to see any of those Cherry Trees. And I thought I could’ve gotten a little break while we were there, but I guess Beck had to just ruin everything, huh?” She chuckled dryly.”

Peter looked down at her, which made her pull away from his chest, staring at him with innocent and curious eyes. “You know, Steve mentioned to me before that Brooklyn has a botanical garden. He went for a walk there one day in Spring, and they got this amazing row of Cherry Blossoms. I can take you there, if you want.”

“Really?” she said, excitement in her tone.

He nodded. “Yeah. We can go for a walk and take pictures using my camera. But we have to go there during Spring, it’s more beautiful in the Spring, Steve says.”

Y/n prompted herself up on her elbows, her infamous smirk evident again. “Question is: Will we still be together until next Spring?”

“I’ll make sure that we’ll do.” He replied, confident than ever.

She smiled at him. Hearing him so confident at something that they weren’t even sure yet, it gave Y/n hope. _Maybe this could work. Even if it’s just baby steps, maybe there could be something good out of this._ “Alright. On a Spring day it is, then.”

His lips mirrored her smile. And by impulse, he placed a kiss on her cheek. Which, in result, made her face beet red. She looked like an apple— a tomato, in fact. Peter had never seen her flush so red in embarrassment, only in seething anger.

“Now why did you do that for?” she said, flustered.

“Oh come on, that wasn’t even on the lips! And why do I need to have a reason to kiss you? We’re dating, Y/n.” he replied, stating the obvious.

“I know that, dumbass. It’s just… It caught me by surprise, is all. And I told you that we should take it slow, didn’t I?”

Peter looked down. “Yeah, sorry. It kind of just— felt right?”

“No, no it’s alright. It felt… nice. Just give me a heads-up next time, yeah?”

The smile immediately returns, and he didn’t hesitate to give her another peck on the cheek. “Okay, yeah. I’ll give you a heads-up next time.” He giggled goofily.

She raised a brow while letting out a chuckle. “Guess that’s another one to add to our list of ‘things’.”

“And there’ll be a whole lot more.”

They continued their movie marathon after that. It was peaceful most of the time, except for the times when Y/n would poke fun at Peter for crying at the animated movies, but that was it. She never left his chest for the rest of the marathon, and Peter never stopped rubbing small circles on her arm, sometimes even drawing little shapes just because. It was a serene moment for the both of them, and it was something they wish to treasure for a lifetime. Y/n had hoped this first date would be the first of many. But for now, she let herself enjoy everything. The simple, cheap, yet thrilling she was sharing with Peter. It was nice. Everything was nice. And for the first time, taking the risk with him wasn’t that bad.

It wasn’t that bad at all.


	4. 𝐟𝗼𝐮𝐫

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two months later, y/n and peter go domestic. peter brings y/n a cup of coffee before she leaves to stay in the cabin for a week. and just when y/n thought things were starting to get better, fate had different plans.

Forty-five days. Forty-five days since Y/n had agreed to Peter’s idea. Two months of dating Peter Parker, and everything was going smoothly. She was feeling better than ever than before. No more attacks, no more blood, and no more yellow petals coming out of her. It was amazing, really; To not feel the constant tightening of your chest and the burning of your throat.

Y/n felt normal.

The forty-five days of dating Peter Parker consisted nothing but dates, late-night talks, and staying at each other’s rooms for the night. It felt perfect, almost too perfect. Of course, there was still the lingering fear of ‘What Ifs’ at the back of her mind—because it never really left. She was cautious, careful of giving too much of her heart to him. But she also reminded herself to just live in the moment. And she did.

Everyday, Peter seemed to always have something up his sleeve. Either little surprises such as food, visits, and adding displays of affection to the little “list of things”. There were forehead kisses, hairline kisses, boops on the nose, and back hugs. Y/n was starting to think if they were moving a bit fast. Their once platonic intimacy hastily turned into a very romantic one. She doesn’t want to complain, because maybe that was just how Peter is as a boyfriend? Being very affectionate and clingy. But of course, the thoughts at the back of her mind kept reminding her repeatedly: _none of this is real._

To put it simply: Y/n Stark was torn in between.

“Y/n?” Peter’s voice echoed the room as he called out to her from the living room. The two were at Peter’s apartment, baking cookies because a someone (Peter) had cravings for Y/n’s famous batch of chocolate chip cookies. It was a pretty basic cookie, but Peter loved how she made them. He loved how she adds M&Ms to it, which made the plain brown and tanned color livelier with the bursts of assorted colors of chocolates. He walked over to her looming figure by the counter. She had been strangely quiet for a couple of minutes, and Peter wanted to know why she had been quiet for too long.

“Hmm?” she replied, not looking at him as she was too focused on getting the batter on the cookie sheets. Only did she know that Peter was behind her when a pair of arms snaked around her torso and a chin settle on her shoulder. By this time, she was used to Peter’s affectionate gestures, but it didn’t stop her heart from beating loudly as it had the first time he had been this intimate.

“You’ve been quiet lately. Is there something on your mind?” he said in a hushed voice by her ear.

“Nah. Just focusing on finishing this batch.” She kept her reply short, but Peter still stood there with his arms around her, chin on her shoulder, and swaying her ever so lightly. He managed to get her to giggle. “I’m starting to regret I ever agreed to this lunatic idea of yours, Peter. Maybe I should’ve just locked you out and do the surgery in secret.”

He frowned. “Why? Is it because I smell bad after training?”

She laughs out. “No, it’s because you’re such a fucking koala.”

“Sorry! But I’m a clingy boyfriend, it’s just who I am.”

She cringed at him as she finishes up the last batch and places it inside the oven. “I wouldn’t exactly call you my boyfriend…yet.”

He blinked at her, utterly confused. “If I’m not your boyfriend, then what am I?”

Y/n walked over to the couch as he followed, falling on the furniture and propping up her feet. “Hmmm… A friend that I’m seeing? Someone I’m dating? Anything other than _that_ , Pete. I just don’t wanna put labels until you…”

“Yeah, I understand.” Peter nodded, lips in a thin line. “But, for what it’s worth, I’m happy with what we have right now. It’s nice.”

She smiled warmly, heart thumping at his words. “Me too, Pete.”

Peter opted to sit on the floor, head leaning on the couch to let Y/n’s fingers comb through his curls. He had always loved the feel of his hair being played. Even before MJ, Y/n liked messing up his hair then fixing it for him. The two were watching a rom com that played on one of the channels. The plot wasn’t good, but Y/n didn’t want Peter to put on another sci-fi movie after having a marathon of it on their date night a few days ago. To fill in the silence between them, a question resurfaced in Peter’s mind, one that’s been stuck in his head for quite some time now.

“Y/n?” she hummed behind him, continuing combing through his hair. “When did you start having feelings for me? I know you said since sophomore year, I just wanna know exactly when.”

Y/n was silent for a moment before adjusting herself on the arm of the couch. She had hoped Peter wouldn’t bring up that subject. But they’ve already gone this far, he might as well know. “I don’t know when exactly. I think it was the time when we had that talk in your room, when you saw me as Y/n and not just as Tony Stark’s daughter and we were all dramatic.”

“But when did you realize you were… in love with me?” He hesitated with the question; it was like a lump in his throat.

“Remember that time when you called out Sam and Bucky for eating up all of my stocked-up cookie dough while we were watching ‘Get Out’? You were literally cowering in front of them, but you still told them off.” The girl giggled at the memory. She couldn’t forget how Peter’s voice would squeak and stutter. “I would’ve just told them to replace it and buy their own, but you gave them a full-on lecture about it! It just made me feel valuable, I guess.”

“Man, I wish I noticed sooner.” He sighs disappointedly.

“Even if you noticed, you wouldn’t know. I wasn’t planning on confessing to you ‘coz you were crushing on Liz.” She comforts him by placing a small peck on his temple to lift off the guilt he put on himself. It made Peter smile in an instant. There was something about Y/n’s simple but sweet gestures that made him feel better in an instant. She secretly knew how much it made him feel at ease and rid of any heavy feelings. He was glad Y/n even had the courage to even do it, because he knows how their relationship still made her anxious.

They tried to pass the time by watching shows on every channel on the T.V., occasionally flirting and messing around, and cuddling when Peter finally left the floor to squeeze in with her. It was rare for Peter to be the little spoon when he would cuddle with her, but he equally loved it when he was the big spoon. His head rested on her chest, arms around her waist, and legs tangled in the small space.

“You going to miss this when I leave to go to Dad’s cabin?” She lightly teased, curling his brown locks around her finger.

He mumbled through her shirt. “Gonna miss this a lot. And kissing your hands, and your cheeks.”

“I’ll only be gone for five days, Pete. You’ll survive.”

“But stiiilll.” He whined, which made her erupt a few giggles.

“You know you can come with us, right? Pepper said you can always use the spare room beside Morgan’s.” She

“You know I want to. But May’s gonna be gone for a conference, no one’s going to look out for the apartment.”

Disappointment displayed on her features when he looked up at her. She really wanted him to come with them. But it’s going to be a bit tricky considering Peter has to patrol and May would be gone for a week. “I just thought you’d want to have a little fun before school starts. Senior year is gonna be hell for us, I can tell.”

“Next time, I promise. Pepper did say you guys were gonna spend Christmas and New Year’s there. That way, I’d get to kiss you under a mistletoe.” A smirk grew on his face. She rolled her eyes at him and pinched his nose just to irritate him.

“Ow! Y/n!”

“Say that one more time and I’m gonna kick your ass out of the Compound and file a restraining order against you.”

“You could’ve just said that instead.” He yelped when she had done it again and the apartment was filled with giggles and a jolly atmosphere.

***

The morning for the Starks’ departure came. Peter had come to the Compound bright and early to help Y/n and her family with loading their things. It was only a few bags, but Peter wanted to bid her goodbye. Even though it would only be a few days, he didn’t want to be far from her. The fear of something happening to her while he was miles away lingered in his mind, and he would miss the feel of her arms around him, along with the scent he had grown fond of.

The sun was just beginning to rise when he came. Pepper said they were going to leave bright and early to avoid any traffic, so Peter made sure to arrive before that. A bit groggy and sleep deprived, he made himself a cup of coffee along with Y/n’s usual; two spoons of sugar and a dash of almond milk. The two thermoses were hot in his bag as he went up the elevator. The steel doors open to the common area, and just as Peter stepped out, the Stark sisters came down.

“Morning!” he greeted as he walked up and kissed her cheek. Morgan was asleep as she carried her, drool trickling down her chin. He grinned at the sight of the two, Y/n always had always been great with kids.

Y/n beamed at him, but her eyes told him she was still drowsy from waking up so early. “Hey, Pete.” She said tiredly. “What are you doing here so early? You should still be sleeping around this time.”

“I wanted to see you off,” He bounced on his heels. “And I brought you coffee ‘coz I know how slow you are in the morning.”

She lifted an eyebrow, “Only because you insisted we keep the video call going last night, and now it completely threw me off of my sleep schedule.”

He scoffed, intending to tease her even more. “As if you have a sleep schedule.” He breathes out a hearty laugh at the face she made and the tired groan she let out. At this point, he would’ve already been bruised by her smacks, but the sleeping five-year-old made it impossible for her to do so. Peter made a mental note to thank Morgan when she’s a bit older.

“You’re a fucking headache. Just help me with the bags.”

They made their way down the building. Peter carrying four bags all at once, including his backpack that still had their cups of coffee and a breakfast sandwich he bought from Delmar’s. The family car was parked at the entrance, Happy standing by it, in his usual crisp suit and tie. She felt Peter tense beside her. Up till now, he still wasn’t comfortable with the fact that Happy and May were already dating. He accepted it, but it still weirded him out seeing the head of security without having to think of his aunt getting intimate with him. Out of pure instinct, she entwined her hands with him and soon he became at ease.

“Kid! Surprise to see you here.” The man patted Peter’s back, taking the bags from him to place it in the trunk. “Are you coming with them?” 

He shook, “Just here to see them off. May has this conference out of town, so I have to look out for the apartment.” The gruff man grunted and left the two. Pepper came down not long after, dressed in a simple blouse and pants with her belongings in tow. The woman smiled at him briefly before turning to her daughter

“Y/n, make sure you didn’t leave anything behind. Are Morgan’s things already in the trunk?”

Y/n nods, “Everything’s in her bag. She wanted to bring everything, but I told her to pick only three out of the whole bunch.”

“Great, okay. We’ll be leaving in a few minutes. But I’ll give you and Peter some time.” Pepper took the sleeping Morgan from her arms and kissed her cheek. She turned to Peter and winked, making him tense up. He didn’t know what that meant, but it must be somewhere along the line with _‘Go and make your move!’_ or _‘Good luck!’._ Y/n pulled him away from the two adults, somewhere out of earshot. They sat on a bench that wasn’t too far from the car to settle and bask in the little time they have left.

“So, you said you brought coffee?” she asked, looking towards the bag.

“Yup! Made them myself; two spoons of sugar and almond milk, just how you like it.” He had a proud smile on his face as he pulled out the two steel tumblers from his bag. It took so much willpower for Y/n not to pinch him, thank goodness she hadn’t had her first sip of her coffee yet. “I also bought you this breakfast sandwich so you wouldn’t get hungry.” She silently thanked him and unwrapped the sandwich, taking a big bite of it and a sip from the coffee he made. All in all, the simple breakfast Peter had brought woke up all of her senses.

“So, how was the coffee?” he asks expectantly.

When the corners of her lips curled, he felt relief and proud at the same time. “Perfect. The best coffee I’ve ever had.” She gave a quick peck on his cheek, which made it flush in pink. “Thanks, Pete.”

She continued to eat in silence all the while Peter took small sips of his coffee. Watching her now, it made Peter’s heart flutter. He was unsure why his heart would flutter at such an ordinary action, and why he would watch her so adoringly. He wanted to just fall in love with her in that moment, so bad, just so that he could treat her and be with her with no limits or expectations. He was ready to catch her, but he still wasn’t at the point where he could call it “Love”. Maybe he was almost there. Maybe with just a little push to the right direction, he’d already be there.

Without much though, he blurted out, “I love you.”

She stopped sipping midway and turned to him. Y/n’s face didn’t show shock. She didn’t have the wide eyes and straighten her posture whenever something caught her off guard. Her face was calm, and so was Peter’s. She settled the tumbler down. “Are you sure about that?”

Peter was stiff—that wasn’t the answer he was expecting. “I-uh, I am. I mean, I think that I am. I’m almost there. I just… wanted to say it to you.”

She sighed and placed a hand on top of his. “You don’t have to force it Peter if you- “

“No, I’m not forcing it, Y/n. I really think that I’m almost there.”

Y/n kept silent, alone with her own thoughts. There was a little ray of hope with what Peter had said, but she didn’t want to cling onto it just yet. There were still a lot of things that could go wrong. So many. But hearing the three words escape Peter’s lips was just so endearing to hear. Maybe she was just paranoid? Maybe Peter really was at that point—he was almost there. The clashing of thoughts made her mind spiral.

“Okay…. I-I believe you. But wherever your feelings are for me right now – platonic or romantic – I’ll accept it, Pete.” He simpered at her words. How could she be this so accepting and open when he had done nothing but caused her pain since sophomore year? Nobody deserves Y/n, not even him. He often wondered what he did to have a girl like her fall in love with him. Because, let’s be honest – Peter wasn’t rich, he wasn’t tall, cool, or good around girls. He was just an awkward boy from Queens who dumpster dives for parts, builds Legos, watches Sci-fi movies, and wears button downs ,and hoodies, and science puns shirts every day.

Maybe he was already in love with her.

Without thought, he kissed her hand, rubbing circles on her knuckles. The little kisses had already become a second nature to him, and Peter never got tired of it. “Can you say it back?”

“What?”

“That you love me.”

Y/n lets out a soft laugh, eyes crinkling. But the intense stare he had made her stop, a thin smile on her lips as she spoke, “Maybe when you’ve figure out your feelings, Pete. But I do have something better in mind.”

Nothing could ever prepare Peter for what she did next. First, she was just sitting there, next her lips were on his. His brain couldn’t register what was happening. The kiss was short, but sweet. When she pulled away, she only had a grin on her face and a she broke out in giggle upon seeing his shocked face.

Peter blinked. “You… You kissed me.” He huffed, slowly turning into a breathy laugh. “Guess I didn’t have to wait until Christmas after all.”

“I was considering it actually. Would’ve made it worth the wait.” She hummed.

Peter shook his head, smiling like an idiot. “It was already worth the wait.”

Gaining enough confidence, he pulled her in for another kiss, deeper and long than the last one. She immediately melted into it and returned the kiss. It was anything unlike the first time Peter had kissed her. This was soft, sensual, and passionate. A warm feeling spreads in his chest when she held onto his arm and snakes towards the back of his neck, her fingers playing with his hair. If Y/n couldn’t be able to speak out the three words, the kiss alone let him know.

“All right, break it up lovebirds!” Happy booming voice called out from the car. “Y/n, c’mon we gotta go. Traffic’s coming up.”

They pulled away with their mouths curved into a smile. She rolled her eyes when she turned to look at Happy, “You’re such a party pooper, Haps. I’ll be there in a minute!” The gruff man let out an annoyed sigh before retreating. Y/n silently thanked May, and how she managed to lessen his usual grumpy self. The couple stood up, cleaning up the little mess they made and sauntered towards the vehicle. They seemingly took their time, to get to the waiting car. Y/n didn’t want to leave just yet, she wanted his presence beside her. She faced him once they got to the door. “You can come to the cabin whenever you like. I can always call Stephen to make a portal so that you won’t have to drive yourself.”

“I’ll think about it. I’ll probably come when the apartment runs out of food.” She tittered and punches his shoulder jokingly. When the laughter wrapped her arms around him, giving a tight squeeze. He circles his around her small waist and settled his chin on her shoulder, breathing in her scent.

“I’ll see you in five days, Dork.”

“In five days.” He repeated. Peter pulled away dipped down to place a lingering kiss on her cheek. Had Happy not beeped the car and remind them of the impending departure, they would’ve stayed longer looking like idiots. She suddenly became aware of the audience inside the vehicle, not doubt Pepper had already seen everything, she silently hoped Morgan was still asleep in her child seat.

Peter pulled the car door open and she steps in. He ducked down to get a good look at the younger Stark, to his dismay, Morgan was still asleep. He wanted to give her a hug goodbye before they leave, Peter settled for a soft peck on her forehead instead.

“You’re always welcome to join us if you like, Peter. Happy can always drive you.” Pepper said from the front seat.

“Thank you for the offer, Pepper. But I’ll join you guys next time.”

He glanced at Y/n one last time and closed the door. She lowered the window and stuck her head out waving as the car sped away. Little by little the car became smaller in view until it was out of sight.

***

Five days was longer than expected, especially when Peter was bored and had nothing to do. Now that Y/n was gone, he had a lot of free time, and he used that free time to patrol Queens or chill in the apartment. He invited Ned over a couple of times, but his time was mostly occupied by pre-planned dates with Betty. MJ had come over twice when Peter had proposed a series marathon in the group chat. Things between MJ and him went down surprisingly well, it was a mutual agreement after all. But Peter couldn’t deny that there was still a bit of tension on the occasions where MJ would come over to hang out. But still, the two remained friends.

While things were a bit awkward with MJ, it was the opposite when it came to Y/n. They didn’t get to talk much as Peter had hoped. Every time he’d call, Y/n’s voice was a static mess and they couldn’t understand each other properly. Her texts wouldn’t come in time or won’t send at all. Disadvantages of having a cabin in the woods was the lack of cellular signal, making it completely isolated. It was a perfect hideaway.

Four days had already gone by. Y/n was playing with Morgan inside her tent, and her toys were scattered all around the floor. The little girl wore the repulsor gloves Pepper knitted for her. Morgan was in the mood for roleplay, and the story was along the lines of how their father saved the universe and them kicking alien ass both heroes and princesses of the realm. Morgan had an imaginative mind— both in making stories and inventions— and it was no doubt she’ll do great as an inventor someday and take up on Tony’s creative mind.

“Y/n.” she called.

“Yes, Maguna?”

“Do you love Peter?” she asks. Although it was an innocent question, Y/n was still taken aback, though she knows the answer to it.

“Yes.”

“Just as much as you love me and Mommy and Daddy?”

Her eyes squint. “Hmm… Close. I love the three of you more.” The little girl giggles when Y/n pinches her cheek.

“Why do you love Peter?” she asks more, all the while playing with her set of toys. Truth be told, Y/n doesn’t know why she loves him. There were a lot of choices to choose from, but none of them seem to be the right answer. Was there even an answer? She didn’t notice she had been quiet for a minute or two when the child had offered an answer. “Is it because he’s nice and handsome?”

Y/n only nodded, going with the flow. Morgan rambled on and on about Peter, how he was such a big brother and how he looked like a prince when she would imagine him as one. It was amazing how Morgan had already taken a liking to Peter in the short time she met him. On the day of the funeral, she already saw the dynamic between them. Peter was a bit on edge at that time, and so was Morgan. But somehow, they managed to brighten each other’s day with the little talk they had on the porch. She didn’t know what it is that they’ve talked about, but she knows that in that interaction they had already built a long-lasting friendship. Y/n smiles fondly at her sister.

“How about you, Mo? Do you love Peter?”

She beamed at her and nods enthusiastically. “But I love him as much as I love you and Mommy and Daddy!”

She continues the talk, “Why do you love him, Mo?”

“Because he’s nice. And he brings us gummy worms and ice pops when he visits, and he likes to play with me and my dolls… Oh! And because he takes care of you and me just like Mommy and Daddy. Maybe that’s why Daddy loved talking about him!”

Y/n could’ve sworn her heart melted at Morgan’s numerous reasons. Peter must’ve had such an effect on Morgan for her to say those things. It was obvious enough, Morgan adored Peter ever since she met him. Maybe even before she met him in person! Maybe while they were still stuck in the Soul Stone, when Tony would tell stories about them, Morgan had already adored him, just as how she adored Y/n.

The teen’s eyes became glossy and her mouth curled upwards. “He did, Mo.” Her hands caressed her hair absentmindedly as she watched Morgan play with her teddy bear. Her heart still beat in fondness, loud and clear in her head as she thought of Peter and her sister. She could’ve sworn the little organ might’ve jumped out of her chest.

But slowly, the beating became painful. And slowly, the pain spread out.

It was even more painful than the attacks she had before. Panic surges in when she felt the roots growing in her chest and the flowers slowly blooming. She rushes out of the tent and ran towards the cabin. She sputtered out flowers and blood all at once, and the sight was horrific. It was a nightmare to look at.

“Y/n?” Morgan called out, confused as she went out of the tent to go to look for her sister. _No! Morgan can’t see this!_

“Morgan, s-stay away!” she coughs harshly. At this point Y/n was already weak. She never felt so much pain before. It felt like her heart was being stabbed countless of times and her throat was being slit by a knife. The flowers and blood kept on pouring.

“Y-Y/n? What’s happening?” the five-year-old asked, looking at her sister who was kneeling on the porch, weak and out of breath.

Y/n shielded her little sister’s view from the pile of blood and yellow petals. Morgan isn’t supposed to see something like this. She shouldn’t. A child her age could traumatize her for life at the sight of it. It already scared Y/n, what more if a child were to see it.

“Morgan, call Mom-mmy!” she wheezed out.

“B-but what about you?”

“Just call Mommy, M-Morgan!” _Cough! Cough!_ “I’ll be alright-” _Cough!_ “H-Hurry!”

And with that, Morgan ran inside the cabin in search of Pepper. Y/n laid on the staircase and tried to calm down. The pain still hadn’t subsided, it only worsened. She clutched the fabric of her top, right on where her heart is. The worst thing she feared had come true. She couldn’t understand—Why was this happening to her? It had been weeks since she had an attack. Peter said he was almost there, didn’t he? Unless…. _He took it back._

The coughs became harsher and harsher by the minute, and more and more flowers and blood came out of her mouth, staining the science pun shirt Peter had gifted her on their first Christmas together. She was losing a lot of blood. The scene was overwhelming, and it made it even harder for Y/n to breathe with all the thought, emotions, and panic swallow her up in a never-ending vortex. Not long later, she heard rushed footsteps and a loud gasp behind her. Y/n knew it was Pepper, she didn’t have to turn her head to make sure. “Happy! Cover Morgan’s eyes!”

Y/n could barely see anything anymore. Her eyes were half-lidded, and her head was spinning. It was too much to handle. Everything was too much to handle. She felt Pepper shake her and her voice call out to her. She was in front of her, worried face and glossy eyes and she tried to keep the teen awake.

“Y/n… wake-!” She couldn’t hear anything. Just the constant ringing in her ears and pieces of sounds from the surroundings around her.

There were pieces of Pepper’s frantic voice. “Stephen! It’s Y/- “

A piece of her sister’s worried cries and hiccups. “Y/n…”

A piece of the chirping of the birds, the rustling of trees, and the blowing of the wind.

Y/n felt weak and limp, her eyes were about to give out. She saw the familiar glowing circle appear, and the figure of Stephen stepping out of the portal. A pair of arms slip under her and carried her fragile body.

And that was the last thing she saw before she let herself succumb to darkness.

***

Four days. 96 hours since Y/n had left to spend the week at the cabin, and 8 hours since her last text. It was unusual for her to not reply as soon as possible, Y/n’s text would usually send 2 or 3 hours late. And she couldn’t still be asleep, the sun would already be setting in a few hours. His thumb scrolled through the spam messages he sent.

He locked his phone, only to lit up again when to look at the time. Y/n’s picture lit up the screen, and he found himself looking at her—beaming at him with a contagious smile. It was one of the pictures he had stolen on a date they had a while back. They sat on the Compound’s roof to take a few pictures with the setting sun. And at the right time and right spot, he captured a perfect photo of her. Hair lightly billowing, her adorable face that showed her mischievousness and silliness at the same time, and the rays of gold hitting her that made her look even more angelic.

A knock from the door pulled him away from his thoughts. He almost forgot that MJ was dropping by to retrieve her sign that she had been working on for an upcoming protest. He sauntered towards the door and pulls it open.

“Hey, nerd.” MJ greeted coolly. Hands stuffed in the pockets of her jeans and her jaw clenched— Peter could tell she was nervous to be here.

“Do you wanna come in? I just got back from patrol, so I haven’t found your sign yet.”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s fine, I can wait here.”

“We have a creepy neighbor, I’m sure you’re gonna wanna step inside.” He lets out a teasing laugh. Without much of a choice, the girl enters and makes her way towards the couch. Peter went ahead to search for the sign. “So, how have you been MJ?”

“It’s alright. Home is boring—as always.” She replied. Even if MJ wouldn’t admit, there has been a change with their relationship. She was still the same MJ; blunt, serious, and on the dark side of things, but she kept her reply short with whatever conversation Ned and Peter would bring up. She would occasionally be laid back and be in sync with the group, but there were times where she kept to herself.

Peter didn’t bring up another topic after that. He silently searched for the sign and minutes late, he had found the medium sized board. He walked up towards her sitting figure and tapped her shoulder to catch her attention. She immediately stood up and took her things. “Thanks, Peter. I owe you one.” If Peter hadn’t caught on so quickly, he would’ve assumed MJ was in a rush to go somewhere. But clearly, that wasn’t the case. She was leaving in a haste to avoid him.

“MJ, wait.” She stopped in her tracks and turned, shoulder stiff.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

He huffed out. “Can we-uh… Can we talk?”

His eyes flitted from the couch to her. She didn’t say anything for a moment, but she nodded with a tight jaw. They sat adjacent to each other. MJ had a calm expression on her face, but Peter could hear her heartbeat increase gradually. He wringed his fingers, not sure where to start, and his nerves were starting to get the best of him.

“Is there something wrong with us, MJ? ‘Coz I feel like we haven’t been… in touch lately. And I’ve been having this feeling that there’s a rift between us.”

He knows how MJ was completely honest about everything. Her honesty tends to hurt others, but it was one of the reasons why he admired her. If she were to lie about this, he wouldn’t second think about the reason why she lied.

MJ swallowed a lump in her throat before opening her mouth. “There is. But it’s mostly me that’s the problem, not you. So, don’t worry, Peter. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Why?”

She looked ahead, avoiding his eyes. “I thought if I would distance myself from you a bit, it would help with Y/n’s condition. And I realized it wasn’t just you who caused this, but me as well. I’ve had my fair share of guilt when I came in her room and saw how horrible her condition was. You didn’t do anything, Peter, I swear. This was all me. So… I’m sorry if I haven’t been open with you.”

“It’s fine, I completely understand. It would’ve been nice if you told me about it. You know how I don’t like being kept from things.”

“Yet you are keeping a very important one from the whole world. Don’t turn this back on me, bud. We all have our fair share of secrets.”

The pair chuckle at her witty remark and it slowly dies down. The air was silent but still held the same awkward tension. There were still things left unsaid, and wile the window was open, Peter shoot his shot. “I didn’t say sorry, for leaving things so abruptly. I should’ve explained everything and asked you before offering her that idea. That was selfish of me, I’m sorry MJ.”

“Hey,” she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t ever be sorry for trying to make things better for Y/n. It was both of our decision in the end anyway. It was the right thing to do, Peter.”

“Yeah, but… it was unfair to you. It was unfair to our relationship at that time. I shouldn’t have committed to that idea un- “

“You saved Y/n, Peter. It was a matter of life or death, so don’t beat yourself up for it. Y/n needed you more. And I wouldn’t want to lose her too.”

The two had only noticed the closeness between them when they felt each other’s breath. How did it come to this? MJ and Peter had no recollection of inching towards each other, and they couldn’t stop themselves from doing so. There was a magnetic force pulling between them, and it was so familiar. The pull had become stronger and stronger, until they’ve reached the breaking point.

MJ’s lips on Peter’s felt like a sense of déjà vu. The kiss was like reliving the first on that bridge. They were reliving a past memory, and couple more before they relationship ended. It was a muscle memory when Peter had felt her lips ghosting over his. He couldn’t seem to stop himself until a flash of Y/n’s hurt face appeared in his mind’s eye. He tore away from her abruptly and stood up from the chair, creating a large distance between him and MJ.

Panic and distress now present on his features as Peter pressed his palm on is mouth. “We…. We shouldn’t have done that.”

MJ lowered her gaze, guilty. “I know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- “

“No. I-I was in the wrong too. I leaned in and I ki- “ he lets out a distressed sigh, pushing back his curls. “It was a mistake.”

Before MJ could even get a word in, Peter’s ringtone broke the silence. He pulled out his phone from his pocket, Happy’s caller I.D. appearing on the screen. He accepts the call and places the speaker on his ear. “Hey Happy! What’s- “

“Kid, no time. You have to come to the Compound immediately.” The tone laced in the man’s voice made Peter worried. And hearing cries and sobs in the background made his heart pace and palms sweat. He prayed it wasn’t what he thought it was.

“Why? What’s wrong?” He asked cautiously.

“The Hanahaki. It’s not looking good, Pete.” He could feel his hands slowly slip away from the device. His pupils flared. “She has to take the surgery.”


	5. 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter arrives at the hospital and realizes that every action has it’s consequences. a memory resurfaces in his dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: major angst, fluff, major major angst, character death

As soon as the car skidded to a halt, Peter jumps out of the car and dashed to Med-bay, MJ following closely behind him. In the hallway, he could already hear the silent sobs and sniffles of Wanda and Morgan, the hushed voices of Sam and Bucky, and the anxious heartbeats of their other companions. Once the two found themselves in front of the huddled group, everyone darted their eyes towards them. All of them had a calm and sorrowful expression, but once Wanda laid her eyes on MJ and Peter, she saw through their minds and the earlier events replayed like a movie. Their conversation, their gaze, faces inching towards each other, and the kiss.

At that moment, all Wanda could see was red.

As Wanda advanced, Bucky tries to hold her back, but she pushes away and moved towards Peter. “How could you!” A pair of arms wrap around her again and her voice starts to shake.

Peter stood at a safe distance and MJ behind his back, intimidated by the people in the room. It wasn’t everyday you’d get to see the Avengers in one room, and in a situation like this, it was best for her to keep distance and cross a line. Even if she was friends with Y/n and Peter.

“You said you’d keep her safe! You said you won’t let anything happen to her!” 

“Wanda- “

“You betrayed her.” She spat.

“Let me explain. Just- “

“I thought you cared for her?!” she cuts him off. Wanda wasn’t going to have it. She didn’t know how to control her temper, especially now that Peter was standing right in front of her with MJ behind him. She was enraged, and what she saw was just unforgivable. The scene that played in his mind was the very cause of why Y/n was now on her death bed.

“I do!”

“Then why did you do it?! Why go behind her back?!” She pressed on.

“I didn’t intend for it to happen!” He screamed. “It didn’t mean anything, okay!”

Everyone became silent. Peter heaved at his outburst and it slowly started to sink as his eyes widen. MJ stood frozen at her place, hurt at the words he let out. She looked away from the set of eyes that were flitting from her to Peter. The air was tense, awkward, and gloomy, and it was starting to settle around everyone.

“Hey, break it off.” Sam intervened. “Y/n’s just on the other side, and I’m sure she can hear both of you. She wouldn’t want you guys to fight.” He was speaking in a calm manner, but with authority. And although his eyes also had the same gloom as everyone’s, Sam managed to put everyone back to their place. Wanda was ushered to the other side of the room and stood between Rhodey and Bucky. Happy took Peter by the arm and invites him over to sit beside him. MJ still following at a distance, leaned on a wall head hung and arms wrapped around her. Truth be told, Peter didn’t want to sit, it only made his nerves unsettling. His knee bobbed up and down with anxiety, looking everywhere to keep his mind off from what was happening inside Med-Bay.

His eyes caught sight of Pepper cradling a sniffling Morgan. That scene alone only made Peter worse. Morgan was there, and she saw everything. A harrowing scene that no loved one wants to see— worse, a child, who shouldn’t be exposed to such a thing. Peter turned away in shame when he caught the little girl’s eye. He knew better than to add the guilt he was feeling, but he couldn’t help himself when he saw Morgan’s tear-stained face. “How bad was it?”

“Don’t make yourself feel worse than you already are, Peter.” The boy turned to Happy who’s face was a bit soft and same as the others; dolorous.

“I just wanna know what happened to her, Happy.” He spoke soft.

“I know you do. But knowing won’t do you any good, Kid.”

“It won’t. But I’m bound to know sooner or later.” The man sighed at the boy’s persistence. He couldn’t keep Peter away from the truth, even if he wanted to. His mind was debating on the right words to say; something that wouldn’t make Peter beat himself up for. “Like I said, it wasn’t good, kid.”

“Was it worse? Far worse than her past attacks?” Happy didn’t mind answering that at all. If he even gave a verbal agreement… it would be like the Europe trip all over again, or worse. He pats his shoulder with a tight face. “Get some rest, kid. This is gonna take long.” And Happy stand up to take a walk.

MJ took Happy’s seat in exchange, feeling the soles of her feet start to relax. She didn’t make any physical contact with Peter. She knows that he needs his space, even though she badly wants to comfort him. But the guilt told her to keep to herself—she had already done enough. So MJ gave a sympathetic look at Peter instead. He would already know what that meant.

Peter understood the telepathic message, and only sent a weak smile in return. It was already dark outside the compound, and Peter hadn’t slept last night after staying up with Y/n. Tiredness was slowly starting to take its toll. His stomach started to growl lowly, he also hadn’t had dinner yet. As if on cue, a figure stood before him. Morgan had a wrapped cheeseburger in her hand, a small pout on her lips as he looked at him with doe eyes.

“Mommy told me you might be hungry.” She said. Peter looked at Pepper, and she only gave him a curt nod, telling him that it was alright. “I’m sorry it’s not the sandwich you like. Big Sis told me you liked sandwiches with flat yucky pickles.”

Peter chuckled dryly, “Yeah, I do. Why Maguna? You don’t like pickles?”

She shakes her head violently and she gestures him to come closer to whisper in his ear. “Pickles smell like Daddy when he doesn’t take a shower.”

“You’ll learn to like it, Mo. Maybe when you’re older like your sister.”

He ruffles her hair before she runs back to her mother, waving with a tight smile on her face. Peter wished she could be like Morgan in this situation; Innocent and calm in the arms of her mother. Peter wanted Y/n to be there with him—beside him. He wished everything was just a nightmare, and that Y/n was actually laying beside him on her bed, humming softly in his ear while her hands went through his locks. The thought of her voice sent chills through his spine, but Peter remembers it clearly. The melody of the song from Mary Poppins, her humming so soft and calm that made him feel like he was home.

***

_“For God’s sake Parker, stop using your fucking web shooters! That’s cheating!”_

_“How can you call using my web shooters as ‘cheating’? It’s combat training, Y/n.” He chuckled as she loomed over her figure, which was stuck to the wall. Her face displayed vexation, which only made Peter laugh more. Rare were the times where he gets the upper hand. And Peter enjoyed every second of seeing her adorable fuming face._

_“But the purpose of this training is for when you don’t have your suit, Dingus!”_

_“I won’t lose my suit, Darling. Trust me.”_

_She gave him a deadpanned look. “Dad took your suit back in sophomore year.”_

_“That was Tony giving me the tough love treatment. And I had that homemade suit under the locker, remember?” He quipped._

_“Customs and Immigration almost took your suit back in Venice.”_

_“’Almost’. They took the banana instead.” Y/n’s brows furrowed at the sound of him chuckling, getting annoyed by the minute. She hates it when Peter had that cocky smirk on his face. Cheeky bastard. He was enjoying it, and he didn’t bother to hide it!_

_“You gave Dad’s multi-billion glasses to a psycho employee he fired years ago and used it against you. You had no back-up; your suit was taken, and you got stuck in the Netherlands!” That’s when the boy flinched._

_“Y-yeah, well… Everything worked out in the en-!” Everything was too quick to process. Just a second ago, he was taunting Y/n, and now she was under her. He was laying in between her legs and she was crouched over him, hands stuck under her grasp. She leaned over him and a mischievous smirk grew on her face._

_“Never get easily distracted. I thought you could sense that with your Peter-tingle?”_

_Peter couldn’t muster the courage to let out a response nor could he fight back. Why didn’t his senses pick that up? He was too frozen with the current position he was in, and his teenage hormones were messing with him. God, Tony could probably read his mind right now! No doubt, his mentor is probably gonna haunt him in his dreams when he sleeps tonight._

_Y/n’s smirk widened even more when she received no response from the boy below her. Slowly, she starts to break out into a laughing fit seeing Peter’s ears go red and his eyes still blown wide. “No matter how cocky you are, you’re still the same loser I’ve met back in Berlin.” She chortled._

_And in a snap, Peter was back to his senses, successfully pushing her body off him and carrying her easily like a sack of potatoes. “And you’re still the same fat-ass I bested in Gym class. Guess everything’s still the same after five years.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, you bested me in a game of dodgeball! Nothing to be so boastful about, loser. Now go and carry me to my room! My legs are too lazy to walk.”_

_Peter rolled his eyes. She always does this when she doesn’t feel like walking. “You’re taking advantages of my strength too much. I feel like I’m being used.” He pouts, faking his hurt feelings._

_“Less talking more walking, Elton John! And besides, I wouldn’t have gotten this lazy if you didn’t wake me up to train with you_ all day _.” Peter didn’t respond to her complaints. It was impossible to get Y/n to shut up anyway, so he didn’t bother. She was childish in certain aspects of things—specifically when she decides to take a lazy day._

_Once they made it to Y/n’s room, Peter threw her on the mattress and left to take a shower. Not a moment later, he could hear her yelling from the room. “Dickhead!” He smiled at that and entered his quarters. He took his under the shower, letting the water soothe the tense muscles and bruises. After the shower he dresses himself in the Hello Kitty pajamas that Tony gave and a white shirt while humming to a tune that got stuck in his head. Taking his phone and power cord, she went back to Y/n’s room._

_Peter didn’t mind knocking, the door was left open anyway. He could still hear the trickling of water in the shower and her playlist loudly playing randomly. It took a while for Y/n to finish her shower, so Peter scrolled through his phone to pass the time. At the thirty-minute mark, the shower stopped. Moments later, steam came out of the door, revealing a fresh Y/n dressed in a sweater and shorts. Her hair was still damp, and droplets of water fell on the floor._

_She stood by the door, surprised to see Peter on her bed with his phone. From what she could remember, he was supposed sleeping in the apartment tonight. “What brings you here, Dweeb?”_

_He sits up and lays his back on the headboard. “Nothing. Just wanna sleep here tonight.”_

_“I thought you’re staying in the apartment tonight?”_

_“Too tired to go back.” He huffed._

_Y/n rolled her eyes. “You have your own room Pete! Get off my bed.”_

_“But I wanna sleep here with you. My room’s too cold and your bed is better than mine. Plus, you’re a space heater and plushie rolled into one.” He grinned, patting the space beside him in an excited manner. Of course! The boy wanted to cuddle. She shakes her head and sighed, a smile makes it way on her face and she didn’t bother to suppress it. Y/n couldn’t say no, she liked the idea as well. But she wouldn’t tell him that of course._

_“You’re such a fucking koala, Peter Parker.” She tells him as he lays his head on her chest and circles his arms around her torso. “We’ve just established this three weeks ago. We’re taking things slow, remember?”_

_“We are! I just… like doing these things with you.” His voice faltered until it became silent. Y/n hadn’t responded, and he could tell something was bothering her. Peter propped himself up on his elbow and faced her. “Y/n, what’s wrong?”_

_She doesn’t respond. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I should pull back on the reigns-“_

_“No, no, it’s just… I don’t want you forcing yourself into doing these things just so you could fall in love with me, Pete. There’s no pressure in doing this, you know that. I can always get the surgery anytime.”_

_Peter tensed at the suggestion of doing surgery. Y/n didn’t know, but there was pressure in everything that he was doing. He feared of doing her wrong. It was then Peter realized why she was uncomfortable with everything. She was uncertain. He smiled at her softly and held her hand, “I’m not forcing myself. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. If you want me to pull back, I’ll do it. But you have to know that I’m doing these affectionate things because I want to. I really,_ really, _want to. I-I’m still new with being a boyfriend, but I promise, I’ll try to be the best one there is. I’m devoted to you Y/n, platonically and romantically.”_

_Slowly, the corners of her mouth curl upward, and Peter could hear her heart beating as clear as day. The beats sounded like any another person’s beating heart, but hers were so sincere—and it beats for him. Peter wondered if he’ll ever get tired of hearing her it beat for him._

_“I just said three sentences, and you reply back with a long-ass sappy essay?” she chuckled. But deep down she appreciated every word he said. Y/n knew that he knew she was still unsettled with everything. She couldn’t hide from him after all. Y/n was basically transparent to him. He laughs along with her and laid his head back on her chest._

_“I am unworthy of you, Peter Parker.”_

_The boy flinched at her sudden remark. Y/n let’s out a heavy sigh and looked at the ceiling, continuing her sentence without missing a beat. “What did I ever do to deserve you? I mean seriously, dude, you’re better off with MJ.”_

_“Well, you helped Tony make my suit. You took me to Barcelona, befriended me, and called me out on my shit.” He grinned. “You’re worthy, Y/n. Don’t second think about it.”_

_Another smile crept on her face. Y/n didn’t say anything back. Instead, she held Peter even closer and pressed her cheek against his head, caressing the tufts of brown hair because she knows how much he loves it and how it helped him fall asleep. Peter didn’t say anything either, because he understood everything with just a simple gesture. And he lets himself melt in the moment._

_***_

_It was four in the morning. Not Y/n’s usual wake up time. She didn’t know why but she just felt the need to wake up. When she tried to get back to sleep countless of times, she decided to just let her eyes do it for her— whenever they feel going to rest, which she hoped was soon._

_She was still in Peter’s arms, and his innocent face looked up at her; asleep and unaware. She decided to just examine his face. Maybe she’ll get bored of looking at it and fall asleep._ Stupid. It doesn’t work that way! _her subconscious says. But instead of examining it, Y/n found herself admiring his features. His smooth skin, soft curls of brown hair, freckled cheeks where she could connect each dot to the other, his crooked nose, thin rose-pink lips, and his damn unruly left eyebrow—everything about him, she admired. Peter was admirable, both inside and out. That was the truth. God, she could feel herself falling for him again._

Can a person even fall in love with the same person when they’ve already fallen? _she_ _asked_ _herself. And the very thought of it wanted to make her gag for being such a romantic. She would’ve asked her Dad if he felt that way every time when he was with Pepper and vice versa_. How could that even be possible?

_“Such a dumb question. This is giving me a fucking headache.” She sighed to herself, leaning on Peter’s forehead to feel comfort. He was still asleep, soft snores emitting from his mouth. The boy was completely unaware of the mental crisis Y/n was having, and she was fine with that. She didn’t want to disturb him nor talk to him about the thoughts that were running in her head. Could he even answer those questions? Who knows? Peter doesn’t know much but somehow; he manages to whip up an answer from his past experiences and May’s guidance._

_It was then she had a sudden revelation, it felt like one of those lightbulbs lighting up when she was brainstorming for a project. She wasn’t falling in love again. It wasn’t that at all._

_Y/n was growing to love him even more. Her love was growing every time she stops and take one good look at Peter and notice everything about him; his talent, his fears, and his flaws. All of which she had accepted with no second thoughts. Love was infinite after all. She had no doubt this love she has for Peter could grow even more than what she had already expected._

Damn. I’ve fallen hard, haven’t I? _She did._

_She took in the feel of Peter’s forehead on hers and held his hand. She just wanted to just feel him. Her eyes hadn’t left Peter’s closed ones, not a single second while she was having a revelation. And so, she spoke to him in a quiet whisper. “I love you, Peter Parker.”_

_He hadn’t moved, not an inch. Although she wanted to say this to him while he’s conscious, she decided against it. It’d probably be best to tell him when he already feels the same. He was unconscious—asleep. He wouldn’t know a thing. And she had desperately wanted to tell these three words out loud ever since. Why wait for him to be awake? She might as well say it now._

_“I love you, Peter. So, so much. You don’t have to say it back, because I don’t expect you to. I don’t even expect you to fall in love with me in a few weeks, months, or years, just as much how I do. But I just want you to know how much I do. I love you Peter, and I won’t get tired of saying it. Even if it’s just in my head, and even if you don’t. I love you.”_

_Y/n relished the moment that only she knew of. She buried herself deeper in Peter’s arms and lulled herself to sleep._

***

_“I love you Peter, and I won’t get tired of saying it. Even if it’s just in my head, and even if you don’t. I love you.”_

The words reverberated in his mind and along with her voice. Peter woke up from the dream with a single trail of tears running down his cheek. That was the first time she told him he loves him, and it was the first time Peter heard it. He wasn’t supposed to hear it, but he did. He didn’t tell her that he had been listening the whole time. At that time, Peter wanted to wake up and say it back to her. But he couldn’t, not when he didn’t feel the same. _It would be unfair to her_ , he thought. The memory alone made his heart ache. The regret and sadness eating him up and swallowing him whole.

“ _Even if it’s just in my head, and even if you don’t. I love you”_

Peter’s fingers curled and his nails dug in his palms. The words explained it all: Y/n didn’t care if she wasn’t loved back. All she cared was loving him.

His lips sealed in a thin line as he blinked the tears away. Every minute and every second passing was getting torturous. It had been hours since the surgery and it was still a waiting game. Pepper said that according to Stephen the surgery was precarious. The roots would be surrounding the lungs—sometimes, even sticking out of it. It would take hours to take all of it out. And if you’re not quick to stop it from growing or getting everything out…

Everyone’s head perked up at the suddenly loud gasp. Wanda’s hand was placed over her mouth, shaking. Her tears slowly welling up as she looked at the opposite side of the hall. She slid down the wall and sat on the floor with muffled cries. Everyone was confused and worried. Sam was beside her the whole time and held her back for support. “What happened?”

She shook her head frantically, unable to form words. As if on cue, the doors to Med-bay opened. Both Stephen and Christine stepped out in their scrubs and despondent faces. Pepper was the first to walk up to Stephen. But the silence and look on their faces were enough to answer her. She took a step back and placed a hand on her chest. Her cries were silent, as well as the little intakes of air. Christine was quick to rush to her support, embracing and rubbing her back as Pepper sobbed. Everyone in the hall was still. Eyes displayed with shock and sorrow.

Peter witnessed everything from where he sat and like everyone, he was still—frozen and stuck to his seat. MJ was the same, frozen and still as a statue, and her eyes were glued to the floor. Peter couldn’t move and his ears were ringing from everything that was happening. _This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be, right?_ He shoots up from his seat and took long strides to get to Stephen.

He looked up at the wizard with hopeful eyes and hidden behind was fear. He waited for an answer. But like before, all Stephen could give was a shake of his head and a heavy hand on Peter’s shoulder. His heart dropped at the confirmation. “No…”

“Peter- “

He shakes his head. “Y-You’ve got to be lying. Tell me you fixed her!”

“Peter, calm down.”

“Tell me you’re lying! She…She can’t be dead! Stephen, she has to be alive!”

Stephen held both of his shoulders and looked him in the eye. He remained his composure, but his eyes were the same as everyone’s. “There were too many roots and flowers, Peter. It covered most of her lungs up.”

His head hurt and his ears rang. Everything looked blurry as Peter shook his head, denying everything. Without a thought, he ran and burst through the doors, the voices of everyone drowning behind him as he made his way to the door at the end which led to the operating room. He didn’t care if they followed him, Peter wanted to see it for himself.

The moment he entered he felt the temperature drop. The room was cold, and everything was dimly lit. All the surgery tools were set aside, but the heart monitor was there along with the defibrillators. Both were turned off. But Peter hadn’t noticed any of those. His eyes were trained on a figure laying on the bed with a thin white sheet covering it. He took slow and careful steps. Every step felt like the ground was eating him up. Not too long later the doors opened again, and more footsteps came. He didn’t look back to know who it was, Peter continued to go forth.

Once he was over the figure, he took a minute to stare at it. His head screaming, denying, and denying, and denying everything. Though at the back of his head, he knew who it was behind the white cloth. Peter shook as his hand held the corner of the sheet. Slowly, he pulled the cloth down, stopping at the clavicle. He felt his breathing stop and he was once again frozen.

It was her. It really was her.

Y/n’s body laid on the bed lifeless. Her hair was kept and framed her face, eyes closed and at peace. At one glance it looked like she was only sleeping, but she wasn’t.

Peter still couldn’t grasp everything. Up until know, reality still hadn’t dawn on him. He needed one last thing to know for sure. He needed to know if it was true. Peter’s eyes trailed down to where her hand was. He reached out again, shaking as he slipped under the cloth. Slowly, he pulled out her hand and held it in his.

It was cold. Her hand was cold and frail.

At that moment, everything dawned on him. Peter had finally felt himself break down little by little. The tears he had been keeping had finally broke through and the wet hot trails flowed endlessly. Peter knelt beside her and took a good look at her face. She looked the same, but everything was different. Y/n was dead, and her cold lifeless body laying before him was definite proof of it.

Peter caved in and held her hand between both of his. His lips rested on his closed fist and his eyes were trained on her corpse. The tears slowly started to drench his shirt. He heaved every now and then and it felt like he was losing air. Peter knew that they were watching, but he didn’t care.

He didn’t fucking care.

“It should’ve been me.” Peter spoke in labored breaths. “I should’ve done better. I should’ve been with you instead!”

He sobbed loudly but steadily it became quiet. Peter couldn’t let go of her hand; he didn’t want to just yet. He placed a soft kiss before closing it again between his. Every time he would, Y/n would shove him, smack him then hear her soft giggles and see a gentle smile grow on her face. A smile that would immediately light up the whole room.

He received none of those.


	6. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter learns to move on. but it's easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> play the following songs in order upon seeing this point * for a more optimal reading experience:   
> \- Spring Day by BTS   
> \- Crystal Snow by BTS

*****

Five days passed by in a blur.

Y/n’s funeral was set on the third week of September at the Stark’s lake house. News of the billionaire-hero’s daughter spread out like wildfire after Pepper and the Avengers finally made an official statement. The world was in shock and despair at the sudden death of the young Stark.

People were curious the moment they heard of this; they were suspicious of the girl’s death at such a young age. Journalists, reporters, celebrity talk shows—everyone talked about what caused her death. Seeing as it what a sensitive subject, Pepper disclosed the information of Y/n’s death. All she said was that Y/n died of a rare disease and that her funeral would be private as settled.

No one had expected it. No one ever thought that the billionaire-hero’s daughter had a rare disease all this time. And to die because of it was the least of what they expected. A lot of people had high hopes for the girl, she was Tony Stark’s heir after all. An exact copy of almost every fiber and talent the man had, the daughter had inherited it.

Much like the death of her father’s, everyone mourned for the loss of another Stark. Although not as grand, Y/n’s name was remembered by the simple memorial Midtown and Stark Industries had organized. Flowers, candles, and toys were placed at the foot of Y/n’s locker and in front of The Avenger’s old building.

“Peter.”

He whipped his head at the call of his name. Aunt May was by his door, clad in black clothing and heels. She made sure to speak softly to Peter as he was still sensitive and numb of emotions.

“We’re leaving for the funeral. Are you sure you don’t want to come?” The boy nodded silently in response and turned to the opposite side. Although May could understand where Peter was coming from, she wanted to at least have Peter see everything through. He had been the one who was with her every step of the way, he deserved to see it through.

But he refused to go.

Peter didn’t want his last remaining memory of Y/n to be at a funeral. Seeing her lying lifeless on the operating table was more than enough. He did not want to see familiar faces again with the same sorrowful expression, to see her face that now only exists in photos and the presence of her belongings. He won’t have it.

The funeral will not be the last memory Peter will have of her.

***

The moment he steps foot at Midtown, little memorials of Y/n scattered all over the place. The flowers, art pieces, morals, stuffed toys and candles were placed at the foot of her locker and on the metal door. People who walked by would silently pass to honor the teenage Avenger. Peter saw it on his way to his locker. Down by seven metal doors, he could see the memorial the school had put up.

It somehow pained and angered him seeing it. He knew how she didn’t like being glorified for saving the world and keeping it safe. It was her job after all. She’s an Avenger. “It’s just the bare minimum of what I have to do as a hero, Peter. I don’t need it.”, Is what she would say if she were still here.

_If she was still here._

“Peter.”

He froze at the voice. It was sad, lonely, felt distant but within arm’s reach. A voice Peter knew well.

“MJ.” He breathes out.

“Hey.” She greeted awkwardly. Hands in the pockets of her jacket, and bangs slightly covering the pain and grief still evident on her face. “Uhm… I just wanted to check up on you. You didn’t come to the funeral last week. Me and Ned were worried about you.” Peter knew she how she felt, the guilt that still stayed—tainted on her. He felt it too.

“Yeah. I just felt a little sick that day. I didn’t want to ruin her-…. I just didn’t want Morgan to catch my cold.” MJ only nodded as he walked with her. It was silent again between them as they ventured forward.

Midtown seemed to be in a mix of emotions. Peter could spot happiness, now that friends were reunited. Some felt grief at the loss of two heroes. Some felt neutral, like everything was just time that passed by in a flash. Everything looks normal, but it doesn’t feel like it.

Something was missing, and Peter knew what it was. He wasn’t going to bring it up of course.

A tug on his sleeve made him stop walking. MJ had stood still with a look in her eyes that made Peter wonder. “What?” he asked, a bit bland.

“I-… Pepper gave us something at the funeral. She said it was from Y/n.”

His anxiety spiked. He knew what she was talking about. That night after the funeral, Peter woke up to Aunt May slowly opening the door of his room and leaving something at his desk. He didn’t know what it was until the next morning when he decided to check up on it.

A letter, with his name written on it with her slightly messy penmanship. It was far from aesthetic looking, it was plain— like any other letter.

“What about it?” he asked, a bit forced as it rolled off his tongue.

“Have you read it?”

“No, I haven’t.” He answered softly stepping away before MJ could even get another word out. Knowing MJ, she’d inquire more about the topic unless Peter would give a proper answer. He noticed how she ignored the reason why he didn’t go to the funeral. But with MJ’s curiosity, he knew she’d ask somewhere in the near future.

Truth be told, Peter didn’t want to open it. He left it locked in the drawer of his study table. He didn’t want to read the contents.

Not just yet.

Maybe if he healed. Maybe if he would want it to help him move on. Maybe if he wanted to feel her presence through her words.

But for now, he’d leave it be. The letter wouldn’t do anything good to him unless he fixes up his act and accept reality.

***

Three months.

Three months since, and Peter still hasn’t found peace and accept the reality. It was a hard pill to swallow, and he couldn’t seem to just to do it. Ned and MJ seemed to have noticed this as well.

He seemed a bit better compared to the first week of Y/n’s death. A little livelier, more responsive. A little more like the old Peter before everything collapsed. But both friends knew he still wasn’t at that point. In their own little way, they tried to help. They treated Peter the same as before, but with just a little more care.

He was like a cracked vase on the verge of breaking (even though Peter wouldn’t admit it, he is.). Tape and glue were the only things holding him together, so they became cautious in handling him.

This year’s winter was colder than the previous years, MJ noticed. Which was why she and Ned were wrapped warmly in thick coats and winter wear. The three were supposed to go to on a little trip around the city as they had planned weeks before Christmas break started. But almost an hour has passed, and Peter was still nowhere to be found. No message, no mop of brown hair—nothing.

The two sought shelter in a warm and cozy café that was decorated for the Christmas festivities. Thankfully, the owner was kind enough to let them stay and warm up while they waited for their friend.

MJ’s phone was placed close to her ear as she waited for the call to be picked up. One, two, five rings later, there was no answer. Her foot tapped impatiently to the ticking of the clock at the end of the room.

“He’s still not picking up?” MJ shakes her head at him.

“You?”

“Unread messages.” Ned sighs as he pocketed his cellphone. At this point, Peter leaving his calls on voicemail and him being nowhere to be seen was normal for them. It happened every once in a while, when they would make plans to hangout. And every time he did, it was always in a pattern.

Every week on a Sunday, he’d leave his apartment at exactly 3 in the afternoon then come back at around 7 or 8 in the evening. At the period of those five hours, Peter would leave his phone off and no one would be able to reach him.

“Did Aunt May say anything else?” She asked again.

“Other than he wasn’t at their apartment—none.”

There were only three places Peter would be if he couldn’t be contacted. It wasn’t uncommon for this to happen after all, and the two know for sure he would be there at this moment.

***

Peace was hard to find for Peter, and sleep didn’t come off easy for the next three months. But he keeps quiet about that. Unbeknownst to May, Peter had been secretly taking counseling sessions to help cope with everything. He took sleeping pills, vent off during patrol, went on walks, anything to find peace with her death.

Peter sat by the frozen lake alone, his backpack beside him and motorcycle parked out by the lake house. He felt serene being there again, despite the memories that tainted it. His counselor told him to find a place to be his solace. A place that would serve as his haven and where he would be reminded of her but make him feel serene. The lake house was his solace—the only place where he could truly feel Y/n.

It was only five in the afternoon, but the lake still seemed to be glowing, the iced surface illuminating the sun’s setting rays.

In his left hand, Peter was holding the letter. He brought it along with him yet had no intention to in the first place. Rather, he really didn’t have any intention to read it so soon. But he figured, maybe it was time after letting it sit in dust for three whole months. It could be time that he can find peace with her words.

With no second thought, he ripped the letter open, pulling out the piece of paper. It was fully written in ink with her handwriting. Peter could already feel himself throw up just by looking at it and slowly getting sentimental at the thought of her. But he pushed through.

_Peter,_

_If you ever receive this, then it would already mean that I’m dead._

He already laughed softly at that. Y/n always had been blunt from the start. Part of which why she and MJ got along so well.

_I thought about leaving you with a parting gift if I ever meet my “untimely death. And as Dad would say “not that any death would be untimely” because then again, we expected this to happen._

_I expected it to happen, even though I accepted the idea of you learning to love me. Because to be honest, I know you can’t easily change what you feel for me in merely weeks or months, what with the little time I have left._

_Or maybe you can. Maybe it could be in another dimension or universe, maybe if I told you sooner, or maybe if fate played differently from the start. Maybe there is in another story of us. But I chose not to in this one. Because truthfully, I’ve never seen you happier than when you were with MJ. Someone whom you liked, and gradually fell in love with without even realizing._

_Peter, I know it’ll be hard after this, but know that you never walk alone._

_You have so much to look forward to and so much people around you who will need you—and you need them in return. We’ll be there with you every step of the way—me, Dad, and even your Uncle Ben._

_Peter, be happy, okay? Go and be with MJ, Ned, and Aunt May. Play with Morgan and look out for her and Mom for me. Be with the people who make you happy, Peter. And give love to the people who deserve your love, even if they don’t give it back. You have so much unconditional love packed in that red spandex suit and small-buffy figure of yours._

_God, I’m being too sentimental, aren’t I? I think I made the right choice in making this a hand-written letter instead of a hologram._

_Thank you again, Peter. For sticking by my side even at times when I didn’t want you to. You did a great job making me feel loved by you, even if it was just a short while. I’ll see you again someday. Who knows? Maybe when we’re reincarnated in another century, in your dreams, or maybe I’ll visit you on during Halloween? ; >_

_I hope this letter enlightens you, Pete. I hope it lessened the grief you feel._

_So go and be an Avenger, Dork! You know the rest._

_Y/n._

Peter had yet to notice the tears running down his face. But as he felt his scarf slowly becoming damp, he was pulled back to reality. The cold winter air billowed against his wet cheek, and as if in a movie, snow fell. It slowly dusted the terrain, and Peter could already feel the coldness blanket him despite wearing thick pieces of clothing. It all seems so surreal. It’s as if nature was playing a scene out of a soap opera or from a romance novel.

He held the paper close to him once more, looking at the sky as if he was looking at her. Could she be looking down as well?

 _You know the rest._ The words played in Peter’s head over and over, searching for the meaning behind it. It could mean anything, really. So many possible meanings ran inside his mind, but only one stuck with him. He could only hope that what he was thinking was what the four words meant. Peter badly wanted it to be those three words. But, despite the letter being melancholic, it somehow made Peter feel comforted.

He cried in silence, finding her last words dictated in the letter quite comedic. “I don’t get you at all, Y/n.”

His heart felt warm as he looks towards the sky. Flakes of crystal snow fell around him. It looked like it was glimmering along with the reflection of the lake’s frozen waters and the setting rays of the sun. It felt like he was in utopia. Everything looked alluring, and the scenery somehow made Peter feel euphoric.

 _Why though?_ he asked, a question that doesn’t exactly need to be answered

The cold December wind didn’t feel as lonely and harsh anymore. Peter closed his eyes to feel the sensation of his surroundings and looked deep and far in his mind’s eye— there, he could see Y/n in front of him. Holding his cheeks with cold hands and a little smile that became a solitary light in the dimmed terrain they were in. It hurts him to see it—the smile that now only exists in his mind’s eye and photographs of her that he kept.

If there ever were other versions of them that existed in another universe or if reincarnation ever did exist, Peter would want to protect that smile. But for now, he was fine with just this. Peter was fine with just seeing Y/n’s smile in his memories.

And although they didn’t get to see the cherry blossoms together, Peter could see it in the moments he had with her. The long lane of tall, thick trees with blades in shades of pink, The sun shining brightly with just enough clouds to cover them for shade, and the specks of pink falling ever so slowly as the wind blows, much like snow on a cold winter day. He could see it perfectly, an ideal day. A perfect date that he had been hoping for since he made that promise.

A spring day.


	7. acknowledgements and announcements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people from tumblr (where i originally wrote this story) that i would like to thank and some announcements regarding me and Spring Day.

first, i would like to thank everyone for all the positive feedbacks for Spring Day! without your reblogs, likes, and comments, i never would’ve had the inspiration to continue writing this series. 

second, i would like to thank my lovely mutuals. Spring Day never would’ve gotten its exposure without your support. [@angel-spidey](https://tmblr.co/mhCQwiGFbPCNd5ug1g55vuQ) , [@allegra-writes](https://tmblr.co/mLUVdpc3_s0DGleSt43GMtw), [@dahliaspidey](https://tmblr.co/mIyhKRgzCaF6r5n_ibCATfQ), [@gwenvrse](https://tmblr.co/mecCjAVSn_-6GGPlKSX6-Pg) y’all are so amazing! 

third, thank you to my filipino friends whom i met through Spring Day! you guys started out as readers. but now i consider you my precious friends. thank you to [@samuthots](https://tmblr.co/mnTnTiITM6yNYfX7hE5tCfQ) who made my Spring Day gif . and [@unbelievableholland](https://tmblr.co/mt25CQx0FX5QOvNvpVFTYDQ) who supported this from the start and has become my precious friend. 

lastly, i would like to thank [@mayberosey](https://tmblr.co/mXVC5gW5Wy7H6NLwVBa64iA) for being my beta reader. she started out as one of my readers too and has now become my dear friend and _ate._ thank you so much for the never-ending love and support for me and Spring Day. without your criticisms and support, i may have never finished Spring Day. thank you for being a part of this. 

_**some announcements:** _

as i’ve said before, i might not be continuing writing for this fandom after Spring Day. it’s sad but i just think i need to explore my interests more and write for my other fandoms too! 

you might be wondering about what i’ve said before regarding the _extra chapters and alternate endings_ for Spring Day. don’t worry, i will still be continuing those because everything’s been planned! i just need the motivation and time to write them. 

for now, this is the only possible question i can think of that you guys might ask. but if you have anymore questions about Spring Day or my other fics, i’ll be happy to answer them! just send it in my ask. 

again, thank you so much everyone for the support and love you give for Spring Day! this is my first time completing a series and my first time receiving so many positive feedback about my fic. Spring Day and it’s readers will forever be remembered and treasured in my heart. 

‘til next time!!


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